Writing Task 2: Visa regulation should be relaxed for overseas students

Visa regulation should be relaxed for overseas students.
Do you agree or disagree?

Due to the growth of international communication, there are more and more exchanged students now. However, the first barrier these overseas students encounter is the visa applying. Some people believe that the government should loose the restriction of applying visa for these students yet I state the opposite view that the government should not treat these students different than the others, and my statement are following.

First of all, the main reason people support to relax the visa limitation is their identities-students. Compare to other applicants such as immigrants and businessmen, students seem much simpler. They visit for studying or researching and most of them will not stay for a long time. Secondly, it can encourage the exchanges between different countries in terms of academic, sporty and art. In order to improve the diversity, it is a good way to attract different aspects students from worldwide.

On the other hand, I believe the biggest concerned about visa restriction is safety. Although the purpose of these overseas students visiting is studying, it is hard to supervise all the students' life. For instance, there are several cases that some girls from poor countries will pretend as students to those developed countries to do the sexual business which can earn the money in very short period. I suppose the government should treat all the applicants the same so as to prevent such situations.

To sum up, it is good to have many overseas students to visit. However, under no circumstance should we scarify our safety only for welcoming these students.

Arlen, while your argument is sound, the example that you gave in support of your stand on the need to be stricter about visa requirements for overseas students is weak. You should opt for a stronger example such as the need to vet the applicants better in case they pose a danger to the citizens of a particular country. Normally, the possibility of allowing a terrorist into a country based on a student visa is the actual fear that grips the nations in terms of admitting foreign students. So such an example would better prove your ability to analyze the possible supporting evidence for your argument and also prove that you are up to date when it comes to the current socio-political discussions. Now, I noticed that you used the term "scarify" towards the end of your essay. Just for your information, the correct term is "sacrifice". You need to be careful about the way you spell the English words. The wrong spelling could either change the meaning of your word or, as in this case, make the sentence nonsensical because the term you used doesn't exist in the language. Save for these comments and corrections, your work on this essay is quite good. Grammar problems aside, you really showed that you are capable of discussing such a complicated topic in your own intermediate manner. Not bad at all.