Unanswered [5] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 3


IELTS task2 : How should visitors behave when they travel in other countries?



medoo 1 / 4  
Jun 14, 2013   #1
Some people believe that visitors to other countries should follow local customs and behaviour .Others disagree and think that the host country should welcome cultural differences.

discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Since the modern means of transport and travelling have made it easier for people to visit other countries ,local ,public and international interests in cultural differences start to be raised as an important issue. The arguments whether local people should accept these differences or that the foreign visitors should commit themselves to local customs and traditions can be discussed from many perspectives such as social and economic aspects.I personally believe, visitors to other countries should respect the local traditions and customs while in return local people ensure fulfilling visitors expectations and meet their level of satisfaction.

To begin with,visitors from different countries can represent tourists who are interested in exploring the local attractions of a country,this can have a great influence on that country economy helping it positively which in turn will reflect indirectly in good way on local people income,this can be a rational reason why they have to accept cultural differences.Furthermore,some of these visitors can be highly qualified and might introduce useful skills and qualities to local people so as to promote their qualifications and abilities.

However,some people argue that visitors could be regarded as a significant indirect cause of cultural identities loss by introducing what might be considered to those locals as a bad or inappropriate habit or customs.Although this might be partially true ,still it is almost impossible to apply rules or guidelines to those visitors to be followed.

In conclusion, tourism and visitors are considered as important sectors of economy to countries.In my opinion, I think visitors are expected to behave appropriately in ways where local people can not negatively perceive them as modulators or regard their behaviors or customs as an intruding ones.

dumi 1 / 6793  
Jun 14, 2013   #2
Since the modern means of transport and travelling have made it easier for people to visit other countries (stop here),local ,public and international interests in cultural differences start to be raised as an important issue.

... why don't you stop at the point I highlighted. It reads much better that way. The latter tends to make the reader confused!

,local ,public and international interests in cultural differences start to be raised as an important issue

... you need to attend to this phrase! It sounds confusing to me.
Tell the idea with simple words and more clearly!

The arguments whether local people should accept these differences or that the foreign visitors should commit themselves tofollow local customs and traditions can be discussed from many perspectives such as social and economic aspects.

.... avoid lengthy sentences... the reader needs to memorize lots of details when your sentence is long and he does not like it. Present your ideas in clear shorter sentences!
OP medoo 1 / 4  
Jun 15, 2013   #3
Thanx v.much for the feedback ,,do you think any part of this is not related to the main topic ? next time i'll try to use shorter sentences, adding supporting examples..


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS task2 : How should visitors behave when they travel in other countries?
Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳