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IELTS TASK 2 - GENERAL VS VOCATIONAL EDUCATION IN SECONDARY SCHOOL


kylie8786 1 / -  
Jan 7, 2016   #1
In some secondary schools, students are provided with a general education across a range of subjects.
In others, however, they focus on fewer subjects related to a particular career.
Which do you think is appropriate in today's world?

It is obvious that there are many different views with regard to what subjects students should learn at secondary school. In my opinion, while fewer subject related to a certain career could be useful to secondary students, I believe that a wide range of subjects provided at secondary school age should be more beneficial in this modern world.

There are several reasons why some of secondary schools are reluctant to provide a general education. Nowadays young people are experiencing fast social changes in which they tend to choose their career path as early as possible in order to secure a future job by raising related skills from an earlier age. This trend not only encourages schools to offer just a few subjects only in terms of future career of students but also secondary students to spend their time acquiring a limited knowledge just to aim at getting a job. Furthermore, teenagers who are complaining the school giving general education would argue that it's waste time to use their school life for the unnecessary subject which would not contribute to their career in the future.

However, I support the idea that general education is more appropriate in current society, Firstly, these days many employers require the creative thinking and ability to solve problems effectively. I believe that subjects, such as art, music and sports, which some of students could consider unnecessary, are helpful to develop those essential skills in today's competitive job market. Secondly, young people should broaden their knowledge as much as possible because the career path they chose at this time could possibly not be the one that they would like to do in their real future. In other words, no one knows what kind of job would be popular in the future. Finally, they should enjoy various learning activities at secondary school because they would be forced to learn particular subjects at university when they are about to be a real adult.

In conclusion, I agree with the view that education with a wide range of subjects to learn at secondary school is more suitable in modern world than those with limited subjects.

brayan1996 17 / 35 5  
Jan 7, 2016   #2
Hi Kylie,

Your essay has a clear structure and argument. However, you should focus on integrating solid evidence that may help strengthen your point. Try looking at statistics and numbers that show why students being exposed to diverse types of subjects would benefit more than those who only take a few specifically focused subjects.I think that this will take your argument full circle.

Best,
Brayan F.
ilankelo21 36 / 41 22  
Jan 8, 2016   #3
Hi Kylie...what a nice structure your written is, a little bit suggestion from me that you have to be careful to put not only....but also..

In your essay you write NOT ONLY before VERB (ENCOURAGES), it is mean that after BUT ALSO must be followed but VERB as well...
To hinder this grammatical error, I recommend you to put NOT ONLY after VERB (ENCOURAGES). like in the following example.

This trend not only encourages NOT ONLY schools to offer just a few subjects only in terms of future career of students but also secondary students to spend their time acquiring a limited knowledge just to aim at getting a job.

In addition, I think what you elaborate in the second paragraph is not strong enough to convince your opinion. I strongly suggest you to give a related example or evidence.

MY REGARD,


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