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Voluntary of Adult Youths for the Development Communities


Anna94 47 / 56 3  
Nov 28, 2016   #1
Adult youths are often called up for working for the development of communities. Do you think they should work voluntarily or should they get paid? Give your opinion

In society, young people frequently involve to work for that improvement. I totally agree that they should work voluntary than get some payment since communities sometimes do not have much money for disbursing temporary worker and obviously the benefit of work for communities come to the young adults such as experiences.

Many communities have some missions or purposes for developing societies, and provide opportunity to young adults to help them. But, they usually have limited money because they are NGO (Non-government organization) or non-profit organization. So, young people who work for them should work freely. Take SIGi as an example of community in my city. That organization works for educating children and helping the poor. They make money through fund-raising that backed up by the young people members. So, it is not good for the members to pay since the event usually come from the deep heart or 'soul calling'.

Moreover, people who work for non-profit organization usually called as volunteer, so they should not earn money since the organization do not make money and just help the societies. In my opinion, young adults get many benefits from working in that, such as experience and get closer to societies. As the research from Youth Connection Organization in Japan said, that 78% young people who involve in social communities get many benefits in life experiences and more easily to access the residents. As a result, many of them get scholarship from the social experience and more facile to conduct research and get some help from the people in some cases.

To conclude, I firmly agree that young adults should become volunteer who do not earn money to work for improving communities since work for communities is 'soul calling' and the good effect brings good life for all people. Moreover, that community does not earn money and actually, youth adults gain many advantages from community work such as getting scholarship because of social experience and society's feedback. 315
Beauty17 56 / 88 5  
Nov 28, 2016   #2
... involve to work for thatits improvement. I totally agree that they should work ... .

In my perspective, this question is not about agree or disagree. The fact, you are asked about your opinion toward this question.. thus, it will be better if you use, in my view, personally, or in my perspective. If you make your essay like this, i feel odd when read the question then your introduction. It can make reader uninteresting to continue read your body and conclusion. So.. keep practice and Good luck!
l1h4h 3 / 5 1  
Nov 29, 2016   #3
... make money and just help the societies.
---- Do not use the with a plural count noun or noncount noun when you are making a generalization.
Bams17 28 / 43  
Nov 29, 2016   #4
In society, young people frequently involve to ...

Before you give the state of your tend, you should give full paraphrase, after that give your tend state.

I totally agree that they should work voluntary than get ...

i think it is too long sentence and i know that you will make compound complex sentence but i suggest do not too long without punctuation.

But, they usually have ... So, young people who ...

avoid use word but in the beginning sentence and in both sentences you can make in one sentence it much better than you divide in two sentences but in the beginning sentence you use word SO.


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