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Wanting something and not getting it can be very disappointing - your experiences

KhushbooVohra 8 / 18 3  
Jan 8, 2018   #1

CBEST ESSAY about disappointments

Wanting something and not getting it can be very disappointing, but wanting something and then getting it can be disappointing too. Have you ever wanted something, gotten it, and then were disappointed? Describe these disappointments.

As a kid, I always had my list ready with the things I wanted like a Barbie doll house, the Faber Castle crayon set or a Frozen inspired water bottle. Most of the times I got what I asked for but many times I had to complete some tasks that my parents set in order to receive that particular item such as passing the ballet test or being in time for breakfast for a week. As I grew up, my list gradually changed from consisting materialist things to an adventure list. Since childhood I have been a very curious child with itchy feet, I cannot sit in one place and thus, I enjoy traveling. Apart from materialistic things, there were many other things that I wished for like visiting the Miami beaches, hiking at the snow-clad mountains of Seattle or relishing the desserts in New York.

Every year we used to go on a family vacation, but it mostly consisted of the places in Asian countries and I always wanted to visit the United States of America. I always asked my parents to plan a trip to the USA but each time I was told that it is next on the travel list. The curiosity to visit the USA was mostly created by the movies and American shows that I watched while growing up. The camera captured the nature and the places beautifully and quintessentially. It hyped the American lifestyle and created a dream image in my mind. Also, most of the top universities are located in the US like the Stanford and Harvard Universities. It has one of the best teaching faculty with plenty of career options to select from. Thus, after completing my graduation, I thought of pursuing masters at one of the esteemed universities in the US and be an independent adult. As I put forward my thought of joining college in the US across my parents, they quickly agreed without any hesitation or persuasion. My excitement levels knew no boundaries and I soon applied for college and started with applications. In less than 6 months, I was ready to fly to my dream destination.

As the flight landed, I already had the list of things to do and places to visit ready. The first couple of months were adventurous and I met wonderful people. I went on hiking trips and social dances on weekends. Gradually, I started feeling homesick. I often called my parents to visit me but due to prior commitments, they were unable to visit me. I was staying in a rented apartment with three other roommates. I had to do my own laundry and cook meals for myself. I soon realized how dependent I was on my mother and other domestic helpers for all my daily chores. Coming from a joint family, I was feeling very lonely and I missed eating meals with my family while watching television together or playing games on a Sunday afternoon while sipping tea and munching snacks. The daily Sunday brunch and movie outings with school friends were longed for. There was no one to share my joys and sorrows. I was regretting my decision and started doubting myself for the decision I had made of moving to the US. I thought of going back to my home country but I had to finish my graduation as my father had taken a loan for my education and had faith on my capabilities. Soon after completing my masters, I did not apply for a job and left for my country immediately.

After this experience, I realized one thing that a human being is never content and satisfied with what he or she has or receives. Often, when we get something we wished for is backed by the thought that I wished I had asked for something else at that moment. We want everything to work according to our whims and fancies. We should keep moving and work hard as life is like a journey and we have to keep traveling. This journey only ends when our life ends.

Holt [Contributor] - / 6,898 1718  
Jan 9, 2018   #2
Khushboo, this is a better attempt at responding to a CBEST prompt than your first one. I believe that you can score as high as a 3 with this particular essay. It is focused, informative, and generally delivers on all aspects and expectations. However, your essay takes too long to get to the point. A well written essay does not need to rely on long winded backstories such as the one you present in the opening statement. Simply getting to the point will help you get a higher score because the essay will be razor focused on responding to the prompt. You need not waste time building the backstory of your childhood. You should be spending more time on accurately developing your discussion. In this essay, you could have immediately opened with the second paragraph as the first paragraph and you would have scored closer to a 4 with the essay. Focus on improving your word usage. Try to use more complex English words and create more complex sentences. Right now, you are still sticking to simple sentences, intermediate English vocabulary, and losing time on irrelevant content. Focus on the topic for discussion and your presentation. Review, edit, and revise as often as you can before submitting the paper for a grade. Look for potential weak spots and strengthen it. You don't need to write a very long essay. You need to write a properly responsive and accurate depiction of your English skills instead. You are on the right track. You need to make sure that you don't lose focus of the central purpose of the CBEST test when you write the essay. That way, you don't get waylaid by other writing possibilities within the essay.
OP KhushbooVohra 8 / 18 3  
Jan 9, 2018   #3
Hi Thank you so much for your feedback. Could you help me with a few essay topics for Personal and expository essays ?

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