Unanswered [1]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 3


IELTS Task 2 : Watch or Visit The Different Cultures In The World.



Clark Kent 20 / 23  
Oct 7, 2015   #1
Some people say that you can learn more about another country by watching television programmes and films about it than by actually visiting it.
How true is this statement? Is there anything you can learn about another country by visiting it that you cannot learn by watching programmes and films about it?


Some people say that for learning something new from a foreign country, people should come and visit it directly, but the others say that human beings can learn by watching the television agenda or movies about that country. I truly believe that people should not spend their money to visit a country, but mankind can learn by watching motion picture and documentary videos from the Television Company which record the activity of the villagers.

The uniqueness of a country makes some person curious about it. They want to learn much more about the country by visiting it, so they can feel the nature of this country by themselves. Nowadays, travel to famous place is replaced by tribal tourism. This new trend enables the tourists who bored with an ordinary holiday and needs more challenge during the trip to visit a remote destination, staying with local people and learning about the culture of the local people. In addition, the traveler who visit remote village directly can learn new value and new way of life that the villagers have, so they can compare with their life. Finally, the new trend of holiday adds new choice to the holiday makers. They are able to choose a holiday with new experience, new place and new value of their life.

However, not everybody can visit remote place thanks to the budget, which is not cheap, because the tourist should use vehicles to their destination, and for tribal tourism, it needs extra money to reach the village. Another reason is not everybody can deal with the atmosphere of the village. For the first night, it will be awesome, but for the next days, it will be hard for them thanks to the different way of life. Also, diet will be a factor which is influencing the tourist to staying in the village for a long time. So, not all the human being can get a holiday in tribal tourism.

Yet, there are some television companies which offer an experienced to learn about a particular country without visiting it directly. The television company realizes that there was a big number of people who want to saw and experienced the incredible places in the world, but they did not have enough money to travel there. So, the company makes a program which is showing the country, the villagers, the activity, the way of people life, such as how to get their diet or how to cure from a disease using a traditional way to the audience. Finally, the company got profit from this program, because many people saw it, and also there are benefits for the spectators, because they do not have to spend their money to learn something in remote village thanks to the television program.

All in all, I strongly agree that people do not have to spend much money to travel over the world for learning something new by visiting remote village directly. They can set the channel of the TV while sit down on the chair in front of it and they will experienced same thing.

Pramudita 14 / 11  
Oct 8, 2015   #2
hallo Kent, i will try to check your essay..

Firstly, you have written more than 500 words. It is too much, you should write min 250 words and max less than 300 on writing task 2.

- The uniqueness of a country makes some personpeople curious about it.
- staying with local people and learning about the culture of the local people.their cultures
- In addition, the traveler who visits remote village directly...
- Also, diet will be a factor which is influencinginfluences(or reducing it, with delete which and change verb to verb-ing) the tourist to staying in the village for a long time.

- So, not all the human beings can get a holiday in tribal tourism.

I suggest avoiding repetition of words, such as "directly" and "thanks to"
pdeep37 6 / 13  
Oct 8, 2015   #3
Dear,

If this essay is for IELTS Writing TASK 2 then it is tool long. I don't think you will get time to prepare your idea and write such a lengthy essay within 30 min. Although overall time is 40 min but you need at least first 5 min to generate idea and last 5 min to check your simple mistakes.

Try to adjust within 250 to 300 words (here is 512 word).. But after going through essay, it does content ideas.

Thanks


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 2 : Watch or Visit The Different Cultures In The World.
ⓘ Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms for professional help:

Best Writing Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳