Unanswered [4] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 5


Watching television is one of the simplest ways to relax after hard working time



noriaki 1 / 2  
Mar 23, 2014   #1
When being asked about how movies or television affect human behavior, different people have different points of view. There are some people who do not like watching TV say that television and movies have bad influences on people's actions, however; other ones give opposite attitude on this issue. In my opinion, I concur with the idea claiming that TV and movies give more positive effects on human behavior. There are some reasons why I say so.

Firstly, watching television is one of the simplest ways to relax after hard working time. As a result, people will be able to have a quite good mood to work or study tomorrow. And particularly, they might become gentler and more polite to behave with others. The cause is that movies, for example, comedies play an important role in decreasing stress effectively and promoting brain to rapidly have a rest. Moreover, television, nowadays, have interesting programs galore, such as news, fashion shows, sports, etc., hence relaxing by watching television not only helps everyone to quickly keep up with the latest tendencies in the world, but also helps them enlarge vital knowledge in a variety of fields, such as market of stocks, different civilizations, or medicines.

Secondly, movies are also considered useful to improve people's emotion and behavior. Nowadays, industrial society always requires everybody to do anything promptly. Everyone almost spends less time on cooking, chatting or even giving other people a hand. They always find it not have enough time to do anything. As the consequence, they are giving caring of others less than they used to do in the past. And I strongly believe that movies can improve this knotty problem. It is said that when people watch movies, they indirectly learn how to share their own emotions through characters in films and how to feel sympathy with others, especially miserable people in society. Some people even may find out themselves throughout these films in some different aspects of lives, which are acted so really by actors. The movies might also remind them happy or unhappy memories in many years ago and consequently, movies seem to be helpful to enrich human feelings in their private ways. Therefore, I think that watching movies is still the best way to improve emotion quotient, also known as EQ, in this current society.

However, movies and television are not perfectly good. Some movies are so violent that they are no longer suitable for all of ages. Children often imagine that society is always full of criminals and thieves when they watch hero films or films about policemen. This leads to unpredictable risks, such as children might become more aggressive or often argue and have unnecessary fights with their classmates. Under this circumstance, films cause misunderstanding due to the fact that there are some policemen who even used not to use their guns in the whole life.

In conclusion, it seems not to be easy to state that television and movies have good effects on people's behavior or not. However, it is clear that television and movies are still one of the first choices to relax and update information. In addition, films is also the effective way to help people come closer and closer. Is that a wonderful thing?

niesaysi 16 / 281  
Mar 23, 2014   #2
There are some people who do not like watching TV say that television and movies have bad influences on people's actions, however; other ones give opposite attitude on this issue.

Some people who do not like watching TV say that television and movies have bad influences on people's actions ; however,some oppose this issue .

In my opinion, I concur with the idea claiming that TV and movies give more positive effects on human behavior.

In my opinion, I believe that television and movies give more positive effects on human behavior.

There are some reasons why I say so.

Do not write this way. It is understood that you will enumerate the reasons in your next para why you have such stand.
OP noriaki 1 / 2  
Mar 24, 2014   #3
Niesaysi, thank you very much for yor help
eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1170  
Mar 24, 2014   #4
541 words... did you finish it within 30 minutes?
If it is not, then you better concentrate more on answering the task on time rather than lengthening your essay.

Do you write 5 paragraphs? Yes. You write one introduction, three bodies, and one conclusion. In the bodies, you develop ideas by writing two content paragraphs arguing for and one against. This can help you write more words, but some students, that I see, put grandiose ideas, by writing too many words. Also, I see there is an undeveloped conclusion or introduction

To justify what I'm saying, have a look at the intro:

different people have different points of view.

I have used this phrase. Also, from some corners of the world I see that many students think this 'memorized expression' is much more acceptable. To tell you the truth it doesn't impress the readers at all because it is too common for words. You'd better rewrite this expression.

the conclusion:

films is also the effective way to help people come closer and closer

Where do you get this? Do the thesis statement and the paras mention this part ? For concluding paragraph, I think you don't need to add extra information.

Well then, let's go on the 4 paragraphs.

With a 4-paragraph essay, you are easy to develop your paragraph properly, one content paragraph for, and one againts. This is good for coherence and cohesion between the sentence-paragraph-essay development, and for which in the five paragraphs this is weak.

Hope this helps :D
OP noriaki 1 / 2  
Mar 24, 2014   #5
the 4 paragraphs

It is very kind of you. I will try my best to do it better. Thanks for your suggestion


Home / Writing Feedback / Watching television is one of the simplest ways to relax after hard working time
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Need professional help with your assignments? Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳