Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 7

Water cycles - process showing how water evaporates, condenses and precipitates


BOMAT_IRA 29 / 40  
Apr 28, 2014   #1
The diagram explains the water cycles.

Overall, there are several stages in the water cycle which begins from evaporation water to be condensation into cloud then are transpired the rain or snow.

Heating water by sun is cause water which is undergoing evaporation, and water vapor condenses to form clouds. Evaporation of water to emanate from ocean contributes about 80% of total water vapor in air. Then water to undergo condensing water vapor. When water is forming cloud formation so can undergo precipitation and undergo rain or snow. Rainwater may take various paths. Some of it may fall into lakes or return to the oceans via 'surface runoff'. Otherwise, rainwater may filter through the ground, reaching the impervious layer of the earth. Salt water intrusion is shown to take place just before groundwater passes into the oceans to complete the cycle.

To summary, the water cycle is process of water which is always happened and never to stop.




fikri 5 / 317 71  
Apr 28, 2014   #2
The diagram explains the water cycles.

this introduction is too short, you can say or write when the process start and finish in this introduction

Heating water by sunis cause (double verbs) water which is undergoing evaporation, and water vapor condenses to form clouds

Then water to undergo condensing water vapor

this sentence is confusing, I suggest you to read your grammar book and find the lesson about verb+to+verb 1
tiaDS 73 / 235 52  
Apr 28, 2014   #3
Hello ira,

It is IELTS Task 1...! wrong title

The diagram explains the water cycles.

It's quite simple introduction and i believe this introduction cannot catch reader attention. Please rewrite.

As long as i am looking at your writing task 1, me and eddies always give suggestion how to compose the paragraphs in writing task 1 but you didn't pay attention with our comments. I suggest you to read "IELTS TASK 1 Writing band descriptors (public version)"
niesaysi 16 / 284 83  
Apr 28, 2014   #4
Heating water by sun is cause water which is undergoing evaporation, and water vapor condenses to form clouds.

Grammatical mistakes are very evident. Let us fix them by rephrasing this sentence.
The illustration shows that the heating of water caused by the sun results to water evaporation and when condensed, cloud formation occurs.

Evaporation of water to emanated from ocean contributes about 80% of total water vapor in air.

To summary, the water cycle is a continuous process showing howof water evaporates , condenses, and precipitates . which is always happened and never to stop .

The bold word is a NOUN. Remember infinitive ( to + base form of verb). Therefore, it is not "summary" , but "SUMMARIZE", rather.

Good luck:)
upinipin 32 / 49 1  
Apr 29, 2014   #5
The diagram explains the water cycles.

paraphrase
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
May 1, 2014   #6
The diagram explains the water cycles.

This is not a good intro :( ... this is what I suggest;
The diagram illustrates the details of the water cycle which is the constant movement of water through the Earth and its atmosphere .

Overall, there are several stages in the water cycle which begins from evaporation water to be condensation into cloud then are transpired the rain or snow.

Good overview

Heating water by sun is causes water which is undergoing evaporation, and then water vapor condenses to form clouds
brandymhunter 2 / 15 2  
May 1, 2014   #7
Is the assignment to write an essay that you think describes the image?


Home / Writing Feedback / Water cycles - process showing how water evaporates, condenses and precipitates