ielts essay about water shortage

Fresh water scarcity is problem at a staggering rate of growing population. Although water covers seventy percent of the Earth's surface, lack of clean drinking water impacts on billion people everyday.

In my view, water scarcity can be attributed to human activities like agriculture and industry. For example, today agricultural irrigation accounts for two thirds of global water use, which is the largest portion of water in consuming. So depleted was water resources that they were unable to meet ever stronger demands with agriculture, despite of the fact that water is considered a renewable resource in many parts of the world.

Another reason is that water contamination due to elevated industrial production. Large amounts of industrial waste are discharged daily, which is the main causes of contaminating both groundwater and surface water supplies. Problems of water pollution lead to exacerbating fresh water shortage, also effecting human and ecosystem health, hinder economic and agricultural development. Our environment would get caught up in a vicious circle of water pollution and water scarcity.

That's the reason why we cannot ignore fresh water is essential to environmental ecosystem and our lifeblood. Therefore, governments, industries, and individuals are all responsible for keeping fresh water shortage to a minimum. Authorities should take draconian measures by enacting environmental lows, and give partly subsidized to companies. Companies not only invest in developing alternative energy instead of using water but also use eco-friendly technology in sustainable development. Meanwhile, citizens had better raise the public's awareness of recycling waste.

Ps: I don't know what's problem about my essay, so if someone can help me check this? thanks lot~~~

where is the task?
when you write an ielts essay, please include the task, so the readers will be easier to catch your points and understand what do you want to deliver here,

also, I don't see the conclusion,

thanks for your advice ^_^

Task：Water resources around the world are falling deficient. Analyses the possible reasons and provide your suggestion.

Ps: I don't know how to write the conclusion about this essay...==

I attempt to write an introduction which is structured by Hook, Background and Thesis statement.
All creatures in the universe consume water every day. (Hook)It is true that the number of water resources has declined in some countries around the globe. (Background)While there are some causes of this case, some solutions could be taken to solve this problem.(Thesis statement)

There is no conclusion i can see. Some mistakes i can find: structure of sentence, spelling word, organization of the essay

Please tell me the details. thank U

thanks for your helpful sentences~~~~^_^

Fresh water scarcity is problem at a staggering rate of growing population. Although water covers seventy percent of the Earth's surface, lack of clean drinking water impacts on billion people every day.

In my view, water scarcity can be attributed to human activities like agriculture and industry. For example, today agricultural irrigation accounts for two thirds of global water use, which is the largest portion of water in consuming.So, depleted was water resources. that they were unable to meet ever stronger demands with agriculture, despite of the fact that water is considered a renewable resource in many parts of the world.

thank U~~~^_^
I have a question,
"So, depleted was water resources. that they..."
it is a full stop or a comma(behind the word "resources")?

simply paraphrase the question. Here you should submit the complete prompt as to know what to paraphrase. Then, simply introduce the topic.

You should have included the full prompt of your essay for us to understand what it really requires from you.
Fresh water scarcity is a problem at a staggering rate of growing population. Although water covers seventy percent of the Earth's surface, not all that water is drinkable and the problem of lack of clean drinking water impacts on billions of livespeople everyday.

You write well :)