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IELTS -Weather it is pointless to keep the traditional skills and ways of life alive



fordragon 5 / 16  
Sep 18, 2010   #1
Thanks for your editing and correcting!

When a country develops its technology, the traditional skills and ways of life always die out. It is pointless to try and keep them alive.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion.


If we gain the insight into the history, it is not difficult to discover that when a country develops its technology, the traditional skills and ways of life always die out. Weather it is pointless to keep them alive is increasing becoming the focus of governments and citizen concern around the globe. In this essay I will try to analyse this issue to some cases and give my answer.

Many people in my country believe it is a wise decision to keep them alive since the tradition is the heritage we inherit from our ancestors; therefore, we have the obligation to preserve and keep them moving along in the future. Moreover, traditions now have a much pivotal role to play. For instance, Chinese conventional Spring Festival has become a crucial opportunity for Chinese families, probably live apart from each other for career and study, to strengthen their family bonds. Obviously, this kind of household party can absolutely contribute to the wellbeing and advancement of our society.

It is, however, not an easy job to prove that view totally true. Some individuals firmly argue that to keep the traditional skills and ways of life alive makes nonsense. To be more specifically, the conventional ways of life, something we used to be proud of, have turned out to be the obstacle and barrier of the implementation of new technology. For example, people who live in rural area still persist in using wood and log for heating, because of the low price, which had better be replaced by solar energy, while this method costs more.

Even though there will be some resistance created by our traditional skills and ways of life when we are marching for the industrialisation. I do agree to keep them there, because it is our tradition that gives us the superiority to other creatures on this planet, that is why I prefer this view.

Khawater 1 / 8  
Sep 18, 2010   #2
maybe you can mention your opinion (agree or disagree) rather than saying this statement (In this essay I will try to analyse this issue to some cases and give my answer), then in the next paragraphs you explain this opinion.
Tania D - / 5  
Sep 18, 2010   #3
I guess yuo are going to take IELTS exam, me too. I want to give you some advice. First of all, you shouldn't start your essay with the same wards that the task has. It shows that your vocabulary is poor and that you are unable to rephrase the task.

Many people in my country believe it is a wise decision to keep them alive since the tradition is the heritage we inherit from our ancestors ----two word with the same root!!!!

It is, however, not an easy job to prove that view is totally true.
Some individuals firmly argue that keeping the traditional skills and ways of life alive makes nonsense.
...,which had been replaced by solar energy, while this method costs more.

Actually, I might have made few mistakes. Sorry! I'm only studying English.
OP fordragon 5 / 16  
Sep 18, 2010   #4
To Khawater

Thank you.
I will try to express my idea in this way next time

I guess yuo are going to take IELTS exam, me too. I want to give you some advice. First of all, you shouldn't start your essay with the same wards that the task has. It shows that your vocabulary is poor and that you are unable to rephrase the task.

Yes i will take the exam next month.How about you?

Also i will remember to rephrase the task in the future.

I think your advices are quite admirable, I'd like to take them into account.
sharkondiet 3 / 22  
Sep 18, 2010   #5
Dear fordragon,

1. To end the introduction, you can either write " This essay will take a brief look at the issue" or " This essay will discuss the issue in detail/at length".

2.

Weather it is pointless to keep them alive is increasing becoming the focus of governments and citizen concern around the globe.

Weather-> Whether

I guess "increasing" is redundant here. If you really want to use the word here, it should be "increasingly" ( but i'm not sure this one is the right to collocate with "become" )

3.

For instance, Chinese conventional Spring Festival has become a crucial opportunity for Chinese families, probably live apart from each other for career and study, to strengthen their family bonds

...a golden opportunity for family members, who may work or study far away..., to strengthen..

4.

household party

How about "family reunion"?

To the best of my knowledge, you should try to avoid making grammatical mistakes in your IELTS writing tasks. That is one of the ways to boost your score.

Good luck on your test!

Cheers,
OP fordragon 5 / 16  
Sep 19, 2010   #6
Thank you very much sharkondiet!

Weather-> Whether

I guess "increasing" is redundant here. If you really want to use the word here, it should be "increasingly" ( but i'm not sure this one is the right to collocate with "become" )

i'm afraid these are just typing mistakes. "Increasingly becoming..." is right in this case i'm sure.

family reunion
I think this kind of expression is awesome.

Thanks again for your correcting, I will try my best!
EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Sep 20, 2010   #7
Here is another point to think about:
Even though there will be some resistance created by our traditional skills and ways of life when we are marching for the industrialisation. I do agree to keep them there, because it is our tradition that gives us the superiority to other creatures on this planet, that is why I prefer this view.

Even though there will be some resistance created by our traditional skills and ways of life when we are marching toward industrialisation, I do agree that those skills and ways are important, because it is our tradition that gives us the superiority to other creatures on this planet, and that is why I prefer this view.

When you start with, "Even though xxxxxx
It needs to have a comma and continue as one sentence:
Even though they cause us to resist change, I still want to preserve the old traditions.

:-)
upul 4 / 6  
Sep 23, 2010   #8
Hi,

I found some mistakes;

Weather it is pointless to keep them alive is increasingly becoming the focus of governments and citizen concern around the globe. In this essay I will try to analyse this issue to some cases and give my answer.
OP fordragon 5 / 16  
Sep 28, 2010   #9
Bitter criticism but quite beneficial..
I think I shall pay more attention to the general organisation of my essay.
Thanks a lot.
Tania D - / 5  
Sep 28, 2010   #10
Hi Fordragon!
Sorry that I didn't replied to your question. I didn't have time for that.
I'm going to take IELTS exam in 4 months. So I have some time to prepare, but I already warry about that, as I am not sure if I can score 7. And you? Are you sure in the English knowledges you have?

Why do you need to take IELTS? Are you going to study abroad?
OP fordragon 5 / 16  
Sep 28, 2010   #11
Hi Tania`
I'll take IELTS exam on next Oct and my target score is 7, too.
Yes I want to study abroad, and you?
Tania D - / 5  
Sep 29, 2010   #12
Hi Fordragon!
I'm going to study abroad too.
Do you feel you are ready to take the exam or you have doubts about it?
Anyway, I wish to score 7 or even high grade.
Tania D - / 5  
Sep 29, 2010   #13
I meant I wish you to score 7.
OP fordragon 5 / 16  
Sep 29, 2010   #14
Dear Tania

LOL
I've found so much similarity between us..the same expectancy and same purpose.
Er..which country do you prefer?
I'm sure you will meet your expectation.
Tania D - / 5  
Sep 29, 2010   #15
I prefer Poland. I think it is a great country to study in. And you? Where do you want to study?
OP fordragon 5 / 16  
Sep 30, 2010   #16
Poland is great!
for me..HK or netherlands..either is ok``


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