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Whoever controls the media also controls opinions and attitudes of the people

Ummu 4 / 6 2  
Oct 16, 2017   #1

Wrting Task 2. Control Media

Whoever controls the media also controls opinions and attitudes of the people and there is little can be done to rectify this.
To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Over recent years the number of using media keep increase as the essential thing of human being. It is pretty evident that the media plays an important thing in society's life. However, a discourse for make any regulation by manage opinion has been concerned on many people. It is interested to examine this idea.

It can not be denied that the use of media already influent denizen in many perspective of their life. Admittedly it can be affected the way people think and act. For these case, government already provide regulation by the use of those media to make balance between right and responsible. Due to the fact that people are not allow to respond many thing in the free way. For instance, inhabitant can not post the thing such a negative thing that can lead to the schism, it is good that the way people give comment will be more polite that can make the word much more valuable.

However, every people need information from others to make compare in some of the thing. It is important because those people can manage what they desire. For example, in advertising side costumer will not believe directly in the picture by what they want to buy. They need some of opinion by other people who already know about their product. Despite the fact that people seldom use a negative word to give any comment in one product.

To conclude, it is already discuss two perspective about an issue which is about management idea. I personally believe that control media by the government already exist and society also should support it by use the media properly.
TJLuschen - / 241 203  
Oct 16, 2017   #2
Hi Ummu, I'm sorry, but your writing is very difficult to understand. You have so many grammar and usage errors that it is hard for me to even know what you are trying to say. From the little that I do understand, it sounds like you are off topic on this essay. The prompt is talking about controlling the opinions of the people, but your essay seems to talk about whether the media is properly controlled. I think maybe your third paragraph is talking about how people are not controlled by advertising, so that is a little more on target, but as I said before, these sentences are very hard for me to figure out.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,941 4806  
Oct 16, 2017   #3
Umu, here is what I took from an analysis of your essay presentation. You did understand what the prompt is asking you to discuss. The problem, is that you do not even have a basic knowledge of the English language upon which you could have built a simple discussion of the essay topic. Knowing this, you did the next best thing, you used an online translator to respond to the essay. You typed in your native tongue then had the translator do the work of turning your mother tongue into the English language. Which is why you have the worst kind of presentation possible for your essay staring at us now. Based on this presentation, I would say that your score would be broken down as follows:

TA - 2 - You tried to present some ideas but had no idea how to develop the statement
C&C - 1 - You failed to convey any message in your statements.
LR - 2 - You show no control over word formation
GRA - 3 - You attempt to form sentences but there is no meaning behind the developed sentence presentation.

Your overall score will not be higher than a 2. This is a failed attempt at Task 2 essay writing.
AliminHamzah 6 / 9 4  
Oct 23, 2017   #4
hi Ummu, glad to read your essay. your essay is not bad, you wrote more than 250 words and sometimes you used well tenses. on the other hand you have mistakes such as :

- It is interestedto examine this idea (interesting)
- in the free way (you have to write "freeway", I think merely miswritten)
- concerned on (concerned with)
- and others.
the last in your conclusion, make it vivid I mean your conclusion has to describe all your essay.

I hope it helps

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