I have been mention in the past my essay is extreamly confusing, I'm wondering if you understand the first part of my introduction. While you're at it, please feel free to edit I really need to get thsi essay done and get good marks.
-----------Essay-----------------------
If only my teacher were able to see through your eyes or mine. Should I write essay that will suit his needs or mine? Some of his 'correction" seem very unreasonable, I like the uses of metaphor in essay but his concept is to keep it "simple". I guess hes right for the most part, well here is my entire essay, thanks for helping me so far again. English is my second language and I have alway struggle in this, this really mean a lot to me. for the most part I have follow you and my english teacher. ps: Do you think he asking too much?
The conclusion seem very confusing, please reedit it so it will make sense for most people :)
The Opportunist
The body of the indigent William Osler was discovered near Calgary's 17 Avenue under a bridge.
William Osler had been filling his empty stomach from thrown out delicacies, untouched, that were left behind by a wealthy family of four and their dog. His daily routine included, probing through other people's backyard, in hoping to find a bone with a scrap of meat still hanging on it. His dignity and honor was set aside throughout the day, because his hunger has created a mind of its own; his continued existence was motivated not by the pumping of his heart or the drawing of breath into his lungs, but only by the incessant gnawing in his gut. William's misfortune was the result from past experiences with dealing with drugs. Often, these kinds of stories tend to be narrated through people that had experiences with gambling, drinking, or smoking. For most people that live under the poverty line, their immediate assumption is that their fate has already been determined. Opportunities were always open to William, due to Calgary booming economy, jobs were everywhere. He just rarely took the initiative to apply for a job, assuming every work place would reject him base on his social status. Hence, one of humanity mistakes is their inability to strive to the fullest when opportunities was given, but they would rather focus on the short term pleasures created by either entering into a casino or injecting the ten milligrams of cocaine into their bloodstream.
During a period of one year, an average news reporter would report 93 panhandler deaths or eight homeless deaths monthly. During this period, most of these homeless didn't make any attempts to move up the social ladder, in the end we see them munching on the excess portion of Paris Hilton Chihuahua. These people had the opportunities to do better in their adolescence years, but made bad choices.
As I stand above the Calgary tower, only looking up and dare not to look down, fearing that this beautiful image may disappear. I can see the vast skies, an office in the Energy Resources Building with my name cast on it, and a home in the upper class area of the city. As the sun set, I was suppose to get home, watch the 6 'o clock news and do a report on the 2005 feudal election. While waiting for the arrival of my train, an incident occurred. I was approach by a teenager about my age, requesting for a ten dollar bill. "I haven't eaten for days, would you kind sir lend me some money" pleaded the helpless stranger. This approach was rather overused but with the perfect facial expression it got the job done. As I move toward the entrance to my train, I saw my charity money was being transformed into a package of cigarettes. I was agitated at this stranger but more so at myself. This stranger had just used my generosity as a token to the gateway to drugs; in another sense I gave him an opportunity to change his fortune, but he took it for granted and made a fool out of me.
Unfortunately, over a period of two weeks I saw the same teenager on the local obituary. I, somewhat felt responsible for this man death, because I was one of the numskulls, indirectly, was buying him his drugs. From time to time, I would notice a human-like animal, searching through the vast garbage in search for nothing more then (metaphorically speaking) a can of dog food. What differentiates me and this human-like animal is that I eat off the table, while he eats off same ground everybody walk on. Despite the increase in social welfare program in attempt to cure homelessness, the rate just keep on rising. The government should have intervened more on rehabilitation rather then giving them a daily meal voucher; this in return will develop the concept of self-reliance among the homelessness rather then being dependent on the government for aid. All in all, it is in our human nature to focus more on the short term pleasures, which may lead to our own demise. Human belief and teachings act as an opposition toward this nature, attempting to balance the yin and yang in one 'self.
-----------Essay-----------------------
If only my teacher were able to see through your eyes or mine. Should I write essay that will suit his needs or mine? Some of his 'correction" seem very unreasonable, I like the uses of metaphor in essay but his concept is to keep it "simple". I guess hes right for the most part, well here is my entire essay, thanks for helping me so far again. English is my second language and I have alway struggle in this, this really mean a lot to me. for the most part I have follow you and my english teacher. ps: Do you think he asking too much?
The conclusion seem very confusing, please reedit it so it will make sense for most people :)
The Opportunist
The body of the indigent William Osler was discovered near Calgary's 17 Avenue under a bridge.
William Osler had been filling his empty stomach from thrown out delicacies, untouched, that were left behind by a wealthy family of four and their dog. His daily routine included, probing through other people's backyard, in hoping to find a bone with a scrap of meat still hanging on it. His dignity and honor was set aside throughout the day, because his hunger has created a mind of its own; his continued existence was motivated not by the pumping of his heart or the drawing of breath into his lungs, but only by the incessant gnawing in his gut. William's misfortune was the result from past experiences with dealing with drugs. Often, these kinds of stories tend to be narrated through people that had experiences with gambling, drinking, or smoking. For most people that live under the poverty line, their immediate assumption is that their fate has already been determined. Opportunities were always open to William, due to Calgary booming economy, jobs were everywhere. He just rarely took the initiative to apply for a job, assuming every work place would reject him base on his social status. Hence, one of humanity mistakes is their inability to strive to the fullest when opportunities was given, but they would rather focus on the short term pleasures created by either entering into a casino or injecting the ten milligrams of cocaine into their bloodstream.
During a period of one year, an average news reporter would report 93 panhandler deaths or eight homeless deaths monthly. During this period, most of these homeless didn't make any attempts to move up the social ladder, in the end we see them munching on the excess portion of Paris Hilton Chihuahua. These people had the opportunities to do better in their adolescence years, but made bad choices.
As I stand above the Calgary tower, only looking up and dare not to look down, fearing that this beautiful image may disappear. I can see the vast skies, an office in the Energy Resources Building with my name cast on it, and a home in the upper class area of the city. As the sun set, I was suppose to get home, watch the 6 'o clock news and do a report on the 2005 feudal election. While waiting for the arrival of my train, an incident occurred. I was approach by a teenager about my age, requesting for a ten dollar bill. "I haven't eaten for days, would you kind sir lend me some money" pleaded the helpless stranger. This approach was rather overused but with the perfect facial expression it got the job done. As I move toward the entrance to my train, I saw my charity money was being transformed into a package of cigarettes. I was agitated at this stranger but more so at myself. This stranger had just used my generosity as a token to the gateway to drugs; in another sense I gave him an opportunity to change his fortune, but he took it for granted and made a fool out of me.
Unfortunately, over a period of two weeks I saw the same teenager on the local obituary. I, somewhat felt responsible for this man death, because I was one of the numskulls, indirectly, was buying him his drugs. From time to time, I would notice a human-like animal, searching through the vast garbage in search for nothing more then (metaphorically speaking) a can of dog food. What differentiates me and this human-like animal is that I eat off the table, while he eats off same ground everybody walk on. Despite the increase in social welfare program in attempt to cure homelessness, the rate just keep on rising. The government should have intervened more on rehabilitation rather then giving them a daily meal voucher; this in return will develop the concept of self-reliance among the homelessness rather then being dependent on the government for aid. All in all, it is in our human nature to focus more on the short term pleasures, which may lead to our own demise. Human belief and teachings act as an opposition toward this nature, attempting to balance the yin and yang in one 'self.
