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My (woman's) Weekend -TOEFL



Nesreen 15 / 41  
Jul 11, 2010   #1
My Weekend

In the weekend, people have a chance to enjoy their times whether outdoors or indoors. They can do their favorite activities, go in a trip, and spend their times with friends. In my country, the weekend is different especially for woman. Woman can not enjoy their times outdoors for there are not many suitable places for woman to have fun and change the atmosphere outside. Thus, many women prefer spending their times indoors, and I am one of them. I spent my weekend, which is Thursday and Friday, at home between doing household chores and working via Internet.

As any working woman, I have no other chance to do the household chores except the weekend. At the morning, I wake late, and I start my cleaning journey. I start with rooms; I sweep them all, mop the floors, and polish the furniture. Next, I pick up the dirty clothes and wash them by the washing machine, then hung up the clean clothes. Although the life improves, household chores remain the same.

Besides, afternoon, I start my shift as adviser via Internet in one of the virtual English schools in Second Life program. My shift is from two to four hours. I sit in the welcome area of Language Lab, English City, I welcome people who show up in the area, and my duty is to explain everything to them. I have to tell them what the target of our school is, how to get benefit from our school, and how to subscribe in our school and be one of Language lab, English city, students.

To sum up, even in weekend there is a job I have to do whether a household chores or working as adviser via Internet. I believe in my country, it is too hard for woman to enjoy their times outdoors due to the scarcity of parks for women as well as the restrictions from the community towards women to go outdoors alone. So there are no other choices for women to have except spending time indoors beside Internet.

Please Check my writing and tell me what score could I get??

ershad193 14 / 321  
Jul 11, 2010   #2
On weekends , people have a chance to enjoy their timeboth outdoors or indoors

different especially for women . Women can not enjoy their time outdoors

change the atmosphere outside

I'm not sure what you're trying to say.

I don't get the chance to do the household chores except on weekends

On those days , I wake up late, and start my cleaning journey

then hang up the clean clothes.

Although the life improves, household chores remain the same

Astute observation
whether a household chore

it is too hard for women to

I can't give you a score, but your ideas were pretty clear. I've heard that the ability to express yourself counts more in TOEFL than IELTS. But this may very well be an unfounded rumor.
OP Nesreen 15 / 41  
Jul 11, 2010   #3
Thank you guys for your comments and ideas. :)
EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Jul 12, 2010   #4
No need for an s at the end of time. Oh, I see that the others have already corrected that. So, do you understand the word time? It is like the word water. You can have a lot of time and a lot of water and you don't need an s.

Azeri and Ershad took all the good corrections! Do you understand the corrections?

At In the morning, I wake up late, and I start my cleaning journey. --- great sentence

I start with rooms; I sweep them all, mop the floors, and polish the furniture. --- another great sentence.

I think you would get a good score, but I don't know how the test is scored so I can't tell you for sure! :-) It is very good, though... very clear, as Ershad says.


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