Not only women but also men have to take care of their children

"Fatherhood ought to be emphasised as much as motherhood. The idea that women are solely responsible for deciding whether or not to have babies leads on to the idea that they are also responsible for bringing the children up'. To what extent do you agree or disagree?"

Some people think that women are wholly responsible for rearing children. Nevertheless, others, myself included, hold the opinion that men play a role as important as the role played by women in raising their children. This essay looks at ideas in favour of fatherhood.

Firstly, children are the results of love and combination between both men and women. In a consequency, not only women but also men have to take care of their children. Furthermore, children will develop fully and highly when they are looked after by both parents.

Secondly, fathers effect on their children in a different way when compared with mothers. Fathers have their own strategy for teaching their children. Besides, fathers are more relaxed than mothers when their children run into a trouble. They try to find a best way to solve it instead of getting tense.

Finally, men should have time to be with their children since they will have a deeper connection. It is also a good way to build up relationships of family members.

Please check this essay for me.
Thank you so much.

In a consequencyConsequently, not only women but also men have to take care of their children.

SecondlyThirdly, fathers effectaffecton their children in a different way when compared with mothers

They try to find a best way to solve it instead of getting tense...so true

This is a very insightful essay topic... Most people do think raising a child only has to do with a mothers effort.. You can also research about how gorrillas raise their children.. A friend of mine told me that when a daddy gorilla dies, the mother, if she has baby gorillas, will move in with daddy gorillas brother thus underscoring the need of the fatherly love..

Thank you guys for giving feedback ^ ^
btw, Ershad193, what did you mean by "so true"?

You can also mention about responsibilities shared by both. It means if father earning that is a reason mother can give her important time to child.

This essay looks at ideas in favour of to support the notion that fatherhood is as important as motherhood.

Firstly, children are the results of love and combination between both men and women. In a consequency Consequently, not only

affect = verb
effect = noun

Secondly, fathers effect affect on their children in a different way when compared with mothers. Fathers have their own strategy for teaching their children.

Besides, fathers are more relaxed than mothers when their children run into a trouble. ---- I disagree.

Very good! You do not have many mistakes! :-)

I think the essay should be had more explanation for each idea instead of giving ideas without example or detail