Women's participation on senior management - Graphic Writing

Women Business Leaders in three companies - table analysis

The table below shows the percentage participation of women in senior management in three companies between 1975 and 2015.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table provided illustrates the promotion of women's participation on senior management in three different companies from 1975 to 2015. Overall, all of the companies have more women working on senior management over 40 years; Eldan Ltd has the biggest increment , and Finsbury Ltd has the least rise.

Look into the graph for more detail, Eldan Ltd started from 3%, the lowest figure; however, the figure rocketed from to 28% between 1980 and 1990. Furthermore, it doubled again in 2000, reaching 64% at the end. In contrast, Bamforth Ltd grew relatively stable, 9% to 17&, from 1975 to 2000. Nonetheless, the data almost tripled in the last five years, ending up with 46%. Last but not least, Finsbury Ltd fluctuated in these four decades, It started from 16%, the highest percentage among three companies, but fell to 14 percent in next 5 years. The company ended up with 26%, which was only a 10% difference compared to the beginning.

• 
  
  

There are 3 companies. Why do you mentiononly 2 in the summary ? Present all 3 to complete the data presentation.

You need 3 paragraphs in this presentation. You should not be compressing information into the 2nd paragraph. Always divide that into 2 informative paragraphs that represent:

Par. 2: Report the main features
Par. 3: Make comparisons where relevant

You rushed through the presentation. There was no real focus on the discussion requirements beyond mere data reporting. A more thorough analysis was needed. If you had used the correct paragraph format, I do not doubt that all the reporting requirements would have been met.

@Holt
Thank you very much. Appreciate your suggestion!