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Women are usually under-represented in STEM fields. Explain the reasons and give solutions.

Khanh Nguyen 1 / -  
Jan 29, 2021   #1

gender inequality in the STEM field

Throughout centuries, gender discrimination has always remained to be one of the most controversial topics, which could be especially witnessed in the STEM field. Thus, it must be addressed and resolved immediately as it poses as an obstacle to the advent of human society.

The fact that women construct only about 20% of students in physical science, computer science, math and engineering in the U.S perfectly display this situation. Women who work in STEM fields are reported to receive more gender disparity at work. This problem is induced by several reasons. Firstly, it is undeniable that societal mindset is an instrumental factor which leads to gender inequality. How society determines the value of women and men has a crucial effect on gender inequality. Notably in STEM fields, where men are considered to be superior in terms of intelligence, women frequently experience discrimination. Furthermore, women were supposed to stay home and take care of family matters. Although that prejudice has been weakened, most underdeveloped countries remain unchanged which lower women's opportunity to learn new things. Secondly, there have been durable attitudes in some countries that heavily male-dominated STEM careers are not suitable for women. Generally, art, literature, humanities and design are regarded as what women should be specialized in. Sometimes, girls are denied the opportunities to learn and major in STEM by schools and universities, which results in the fact that STEM career path contains extreme drawbacks to female.

This magnificent problem requires prompt actions to be taken. First and foremost, societal mindset about female needs to be modified immediately and completely. Educational system in countries should play a crucial role in the fight against gender disparity, especially in the STEM field. Courses edifying women's value and that people share alternative ability or extent of intelligence does not depend on sexes should be organized several times a year. Numerous women have proved that they have the capability to accomplish the same amount of work as men. Furthermore, some women have done beyond that: Marie Quyri - the conductor of pioneering research on radioactivity or Helen Keller, who lost her sight, hearing and was mute altogether, but she grew to be an admirable person and a philanthropist. Secondly, women should be given the opportunities to achieve various types of education. It has to be widely comprehended that women should be educationally invested as well as men. Fortunately, gender discrimination has been recognized, for instance, in the 1995 Beijing Platform for Action and the Education 2030 Framework for Action, National development strategies often highlight boosting women's participation in STEM as key steps to facilitate transition to high-tech, knowledge-base, as well as to abolish unfairness.

In conclusion, gender inequality in STEM field is caused by erroneous societal mindset and the imbalance in the amount of education that each sex receives. In order to tackle this serious situation, people's awareness about women's value should been intensified especially through educational methods. These actions have to be made so that women would earn a fairer and more secured future.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 10,301 3341  
Jan 30, 2021   #2
You cannot claim that gender discrimination has been a problem "throughout centuries" as the claim regarding gender discrimination is a 20th century ideology. Do not exaggerate your claims as these change the essence of the original presentation. Also, while it is a "debatable" topic, you cannot claim that it is "controversial" as there is nothing controversial about it. It has not been a part of a prolonged public dispute yet. Do not sensationalize your presentations. That removes the academic tone of your presentation and shows that you would rather focus on "vocabulary" rather than an essentially educated presentation of your discussion. Aim for academic discussions instead of fake news type presentations. You score better when focusing on academic opinions and discussion presentations.

Do not make factual claims in any presentation unless you can cite an actual source of that information. It is better to assume information instead by saying "To the best of my knowledge" or "As far as I know..", creating an academic, but personal data presentation that does not require fact-checking. You really tend to make sensationalist claims in this essay which truly remove from the academic opinion presentation. Are you sure that your claims are undeniable? There will always be people who will claim otherwise and have evidence to disprove your "undeniable" claim. Stop being sensational. Be academic, use an even and educated tone. You are not writing for a tabloid audience, you are writing for an educated set of people who do not take kindly to this kind of writing.

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