Working in groups proves to be more efficient than working individually

Working Independently or on a Team

Soft-skills are non-technical skills that are relate to how you work, how you interact with colleagues and how you become successfully. In this case, working in groups is believed and demonstrated to be more and more efficient than working by yourself because of its time-saving and skills-providing benefits.

As you know, the power of community is always stronger than that of an individual. In a team, each number is in charge of a certain part while a single is responsible for the whole task. As a result, working together's workload is not as much of that in working alone as well as the working procedure is being shortened.

In addition, working in group is not only sparing in time, but also improve one's professional competence. Each member get an opportunity to strengthen his or her cooperation capability, leadership skill and problem solving ability. Moreover, listening to others' point of view and summarize their contributions can widen knowledge and provide one's experiences.

In conclusion, working on groups proves to be more useful than working individually for notably three noticeable reasons. This soft-skill is an effective and powerful way to learn and achieve success which everyone needs to equip in daily life.

If this essay is for an IELTS writing task 2, then it must have at least 250 words. Yours has only 200 words so I think you should add more ideas.

But if your essay is for other purposes, I think it is ok to have a 200-word essay but here are a few mistakes associated with your grammar that can cause you to lose points.

In the first para,
- ... skills that are relateD to ( You should use an adj here instead of a verb)
- ... how you become successfully ... ( You must use an adj here too, instead of an adverb)
In the second para,
-As a result, working together's workload is ... ( I think this sentence is a bit confusing. You can change it to: Working procedure will be shortened and the workload will be much lighter when people cooperate together to do the job.)

In the third para,
- In addition, working in A group ( you miss an article before a singular noun here) is not only sparing in time..( sparing in time is a bit strange to me, why don't you use time-saving instead.)

In the last para,
- In conclusion, working on in groups proves ...( Working on groups is incorrect.)
Overall, I think your essay is too cursory. This may cause you to get an unwanted score in school exams or other tests.

I assume that this is a simple English writing exercise based on the discussion format presented. The main problem that I see with your writing is that you are making too many assumptions, or you believe that your reader is properly informed about the topic, when in reality, the reader has no idea what you are talking about. Your overall presentation did not help to properly inform the reader either. You lack information in every discussion paragraph that would have helped clarify things for the reader. These missing information has made the essay confusing to read, leaving the reader stressed about the information being presented.

In this first paragraph, the second sentence refers to; "In this case". What case is this? You first referred to soft skills, which is a topic for discussion. That is not the reason, which would be the reference for "In this case". Do you see why that presentation does not make any sense to the reader? You have to connect the topic, soft skills, with the "case", to create the connection to "working in groups". Otherwise, there is no sense in the presentation.

What does a community have to do with soft skills? A team can exist in any form. Soft skills more often than not refers to a vocational profession. So the community reference is incorrect. Soft skills refers to a profession within which a person is not depended on acquired knowledge, such as a college education. You are becoming less and less comprehensible by the paragraph.

@tuyentruong
@Holt
Thank you so much for the responds, I will improve myself so as to have a better essay.