IELTS: working in team enhances the students' efficiency in the study process

QUESTION: Some students like to study alone while others like to study in groups. Which do you think is better and why?

Whether students should study in group or not has always been an interesting question. Some people are in favour of studying alone, while others find studying in groups more beneficial. Personally, the latter would be my choice. There are two reasons for my perspectives on this.

Firstly, what really convinces me is that working in team enhances the students' efficiency in the study process. It is true that a positive surrounding atmosphere created by teamwork's activities is more likely to generate students' enthusiasm as well as give them a significant incentive. Consequently, the learners are capable of completing their tasks effectively. More interestingly, students who tap into collaboration with other members stand a very good chance of receiving substantial support from the team. This means that they can take advantage of the unity and overcome most daunting tasks. Indeed, the effectiveness of studying together is certainly undeniable.

Secondly, the cooperation in study is thought to bring students some achievements. It is apparent that working in team enables the learners to obtain some skills which are crucially important to their career such as punctuality or leadership skill. By way of illustration, a student would be able to learn how to draw up a proper schedule to keep every tasks under control or how to lead the team to a desirable goal. Another benefit is that the process of working together considerably cements the relationship between members of the team. This could be a greatest achievement since a good network of relationships holds no less importance in personal success than an impressive academic attainment. Therefore, I would contend that studying in a group plays a vital role in student's future.

In short, for all mentioned above, I strongly believe that studying in group would be a better choice for students and they certainly attain many achievements if they opt for it.

THIS IS MY ESSAY, PLEASE HELP ME TO CORRECT IT
THANKS EVERYONE

In your intro, try to find a more catchy hook and state your thesis with subtopics.
Your bodies are well-structured, but they can be more effective if you give clear explanations right after your examples.
I think you should develop your conclusion by adding more ideas after you restate your thesis. Otherwise, it seems short and weak.
Overall, it is a nice essay, but as I said, you should develop your intro and conclusion.

catchy hook

what do u mean by catch hook in intro?
do u mean thesis presented by writer in intro or other thing?

Whether students should study in group or not has always been an interesting question. Some people are in favour of studying alone, while others find studying in groups more beneficial. Personally, the latter would be my choice. There are two reasons for my perspectives on thisTherefore, I too believe that study group has more benefits

It is always good if you conclude the intro with a statement expressing your opinion very clearly. By this, you take the reader in your desired direction.

By catchy hook, I meant an interesting beginning that is related to the main topic, but also makes the reader really interested in your essay. For example, while writing about the poverty in Africa, starting with the importance of trade is more interesting than directly saying that Africa is poor because actually, the thesis is where you state your idea directly.

thanks very much. I am just a beginner in writing, so i have to follow the template. this is one of the templates which i follow to write.

Some people are in favour of studying alone, while others find studying in groups is more beneficial.
There are two reasons for my perspectives on this.why I believe studying in a group is a more effective way to study.


Good intro :)
It is true that a positive surrounding atmosphere created by teamwork's activitiesthe team is more likely to generate students' enthusiasm as well as give them a significant incentive.

I've often been told that it gives credibility to your argument if you include some pros/cons of the stance opposite to your own and then go on to prove why your stance is superior. Fore example, if you were to say "Although independent study can allow a student to...(insert positive aspect)...studying within a group is conducive to...(stronger advantage)." I think this helps because rather than ignoring the benefits of another method of study, you can acknowledge them and still show that your preferred method is more advantageous.

Maybe something to consider, but if you feel it's unnecessary, then no worries.

Introduction could have been better.