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Is It Worth for Sport Players to Earn Great Deal More Money than People in Other Profession?


Stacy Handayani 29 / 16 19  
Apr 30, 2015   #1
Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.


In these days and age, sports is becoming more popular than before. As such, some people believe that sport professionals are worth to earn a greater income than other professions as they are qualified and supported by many advertisement. However, others argue that this great deal of money is not suitable for sport players as many other jobs that involve hard work and skill should be paid with higher amount of money. Nevertheless, I would argue that it is justified for sport players to earn much more money since they also work hard, do some exercises, and sometimes risk their health while they are on duty.

With regard to to opposite side of this issue ...
farhan110991 11 / 17 8  
Apr 30, 2015   #2
hai, by and large, your writing is excellent, but i have several comment for you.

In these days and age, sports is becoming more popular than before(i find it unnecessary) . As such, some people believe that sport professionals are worth to earn a greater income than other professions as they are qualified and supported by many advertisements . However, others argue that this great deal of money is not suitable for sport players as many other jobs that involve hard work and skill should be paid with higher amount of money. Nevertheless, I would argue that it is justified for sport players to earn much more money since they also work hard, do some exercises, and sometimes risk their health while they are on duty.

With regard to to opposite side of this issue (which issue do you mean?) , people argue that it is really unfair when sport professionals earn more money than any other professions. Take a football player as an example, when they play in a league, they appear on television and can earn much more money(you should not write this underlined word for second times) from sponsors than teacher's income in one month. As a result, people think that it is unfair(i find many repetition words in this writing) as teachers spend all day for teaching, preparing teaching material, and preparing(rewrite this word) questions for quizes, while sport players only do their hobbies and need only 90 minutes playing to earn money. Therefore, some people argue that teachers should be paid with higher amount of money than sport professionals.

On the other hand, supporter of this trend believe that football players also work hard to be a professional one so as to earn much more money. Take Cristiano Ronaldo as an example, he has a bigger income than other players as his playing brings more benefits to the team. To achieve this, people believe that Cristiano Ronaldo does more exercisetraining and have more skills than other players. As a result, he is worth to earn much more money than other professions as he dedicates his life so much for football.

To conclude, even some people think that it is not justified for sport professionals to have a high income as their job seem easier than any other professions, I would argue that they also work hard, sacrifice so much of their time for doing exercise, and develop their skills to be worth to earn great deal of money. Therefore, it is imperative for people to find out what effort that people have done to their professions rather than to judge them only by their professions.
kibz95 16 / 53 15  
Apr 30, 2015   #3
Hello Stacy.
I had a pleasant time reading your essay. Thank you for you efforts~
Your essay is very well organized and fluent. There are hardly any grammar mistakes, your usage of vocabulary is average, it is neat. A good man's job.

Nevertheless, your 1st body is a little strange to me. The title said 'Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions'

Important professions. Your first body is supposed to state that sports athletes should not get paid more than important people because their occupation isn't as important as theirs.

And yes, your example of a teacher gaining less income than athletes is a valid point but there was nothing stated about how it was unfair that teachers are paid less despite having a more important job. The way you described,

As a result, people think that it is unfair as teachers spend all day for teaching, preparing teaching material, and preparing questions for quizes,

isn't really part of the argument, the title. Instead if you said, something like,
Moreover, people think it is unjustified as teachers, whose occupation is far more crucial than a sports star's are getting less paid.
Or something like that.
Other than that, I don't see another problem in your essay.
Hope this helps! I would also appreciate it if you took a look at my essays as well~ Thanks!


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