IELTS WRITNG 1: The total number of Olympic medals won by twelve different countries.

olimpic achievements by states

The bar chart compares the number of medals that twelve countries have won at the Olympic Games in total.

It is noticeable that the USA by far has won the most medals. It is also clear that the proportion of gold, silver and bronze medals won tend to be quite similar for all countries.

Among twelve countries, the USA has a dramatical number of medals, around 2300 medals, including approximately 900 gold medals, over 650 silver medals, and almost 650 bronze medals. By constrast, Japan has the fewest medals, in which, the gold medals accounts for nearly a half of 350 medals won, and the figures for silver and bronze medals are the same at 90 medals.

Besides the USA, Soviet Union is the only different country which has more than 1000 medals, more or less 400, 300, and 300 medals for gold, silver and bronze medals respectively. Deviding these countries into two parts, the USA, Soviet Union, the UK, France, Germany, and Italy are six nations winning more than 500 medals. The rest of twelve countries have from 350 to 500 total number of medals won.

• 
  6a0120a5bb05d8970c01.png
  

Nguyen this essay should have been discussed by group using the parallelism method. That means, you should have grouped the countries for discussion based on a bracket of similar numbering. Take note of the following information:

China and Japan won a similar number of medals
East Germany, Hungary, Australia and Sweden have a running total of almost the same number
Italy and Germany, almost the same digits also
France and UK have a slight difference in numbers but run parallel to each other
The Soviet Union and the United States lead the pack with differing numbers

Based on the above information, you could have easily created a more informative and inclusive set of analytical reports for the bar graph provided. Your analysis of the graph is incomplete, you do not list the names of the countries involved in the graph, and you also do not consider any bracket discussions for the presentation that would have allowed you to present all 12 countries and their medal count in the discussion, which is part of the discussion requirements.

I also find it struggling to describe a bar char every time when I check with the sample answers. But I will try to share my ideas here.

My suggestion is after the summary/overview paragraph, the following paragraphs could be divided into two categories, one with countries possessing medals over 500, another with medals below 500. And in each paragraph, explain important/the most obvious information mentioned in the overview, and illustrate other points with comparison. Follow the same strategy in the fourth paragraph, but point out the smallest number with comparison. Try to cover as much as information (subjects, numbers, etc) as possible.