Yes, the money... but another factor which make employee motivated to work is good cooperation.

Do you agree that money is the only motivation at work why people prefer working in the some company for many years?

Many employees have to work in one place for a long time because of money. While it is true to some extent, I also claim that good cooperation in one company is another factor which should be taken into account.

It is true that money is one of reasons making some employees motivated to work in one place. Staying in one place for long time would influence their career because they would easily to get promotion and they would receive a high salary from companies. For example, there is my neighbor deciding to work in one company for many years because he thinks that if working in long period, company will give him higher salary. Thus, most people work in one place for long because of money.

On the other hand, money is not the only one which can make several employee motivated because in work place not only need money but also they require cooperation with other co-worker. Solid Partnership can make work more efficient and productive. Besides, they would be helped by cooperation if employee has problem in work. Those can lighten some employee's work by cooperation. As result they would feel motivated in doing their work.

To conclude, many people cannot be undeniable that money is one motivation to do work but it does not meant that money the only one can become spirit factor in their work because there are another factor which make employee motivated to work is good cooperation.

Radjah, I do believe that your scoring for this essay would start somewhere at the band of 6. You have managed to develop the essay in a proper manner although your introduction and concluding paragraphs were shorter than the required number of sentences. You were able to present sufficient supporting evidence that shows a clear understanding of the prompt. Your word usage shows an intermediate level of English grammar knowledge which led to understandable paragraphs even though the language was not as grammatically correct as it should be. Your essay would have been helped tremendously if you had managed to not only add information in the introduction, but also made it clear you agreed with the prompt statement. Rather than saying that "I also claim...", you should have instead started with "I agree with the given statement and would like to add that..." Remember, when you are asked for an opinion, it should be clearly stated in the introduction and given supporting evidence within the next paragraphs.