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Young people are often asked for participating for the development of communities as a volunteer



septiadara29 48 / 45  
Nov 28, 2016   #1
Adult youths are often called up for working for the development of communities. Do you think they should work voluntarily or should they get paid? Give your opinion.

Young people are often asked for participating for the development of communities as a volunteer, and they do not get a wage. I would firmly agree with the notion since it is the best chance for them to enrich their competency, and not all instituions provide this activity.

This essay is disagree with the view of adult youths should get paid as they work in one of institutions. It is because they have lack of experience both of theoritical and practical matters. For example, according to statistical data from Keio University, reveals that 23% of young adults in Tokyo did not have enough knowledge to organize a community such as making a proposal or explaining the type of activity in fron of people. As a consequence, they should work as a volunteer, and see how other people overcome these difficulties.

On the other hand, young adults can expand their knowledge about practical work in the real situation through this activity. For example, based on a publication from Jakarta Post in 2015, shows that almost 73% of volunteer in the biggest event of Indonesian Petroleum Association were dominated by people at 20 - 23 age group. As a result, those young people can enhance their skills, such as organizing or communicating. Thus, working as a volunter has a vital role towards young people to improve their competency.

To sum up, I agree that young adults should train themselves in practical work as a woker who helps a community to reach its goals without being paid. They can get a huge benefit through this programme, such as improving communication skill. (267)

MufliHamid - / 21  
Nov 28, 2016   #2
Dear Septi.

Overall, it is a good essay despite some corrections.
First.

... asked for participating forIN the development

PARTICIPATE --> IN
Second.
You third paragraph or the second body is less explanation. It needs more reason WHY you think that this activity can expand their knowledge or HOW this activity can expand their knowledge.

Good Luck.


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