Young people have become richer, but less happy. What are the causes? How to address this situation?

many young people are miserable today

It is widely believed that young people nowadays enjoy longer lives and better health. However, they lack happiness despite all the material possessions they have. I would argue that there is one cause to their not being happier, and proper measurements should be taken into account so as to solve this problem.

The major cause of this problem is the growth of the Internet. Truly, the Internet has been playing an indispensable role in our daily life for a few decades. It brings about numerous advantages such as convenience, entertainment, news, to name but a few. Nevertheless, the downwards that it can bring may be quite devastating. For example, cyber-bullying occurs frequently on social platforms. Hence, it can hurt people both physically and mentally, which is why there are so many suicidal related to cyber-bullying. Moreover, hackers are threatening the security system, even the top knot

Several measures should be taken in order to address people about this situation. The government could enact cyber laws to punish cyber-bullies. With the help of advanced technology nowadays, there is no difficulty in tracking bullies online. Moreover, schools should include cyber safety in their curriculums. Students should be taught and acknowledged about this issue as it is not uncommon, especially for their age groups. These two measures would definitely improve the alarming issue occurring daily online, which would surely bring about fulfillment and happiness to their life.

In conclusion, by taking steps to curb online crimes, the government would help young people develop into delightful citizens in the future.

This is an incorrect assumption. The original reference point is health and long life, along with money. Therefore, the reference in this statement cannot be based on a material reference position alone.


Which is ? State the reason for clarityof response.


Which are? Again, the thesis statement does not require a repeatof the instructions but a summary of the topic responses/topic. These help increase youJ TA score.


Why did you add this topic as a reason without fully explaining it? The lack of developed reasoning for this topic made an otherwise properly explained reason come across as incomplete. This single sentence will result in C+C deductions when there should not have been any.

The solutions are acceptable based on your causes paragraph. However, the concluding summary does not give a short version ofthe discussion based on 40 words or 2 - 5 sentences. The reverse paraphrase in this case does not exist and would further lowerthe final score.