There are various factors that are influential in building one's character and behaviour. The role of family, peers and environment can't be neglected in this regard. Family or parents remain with the child whenever he is at home. Moreover, they always try to brought up their child in the best way by keeping him away from all those negative aspects that can spoil him. However, they always remain worried by letting their children embarked into the life activities in their absence.There a child encountered different kinds of peple belonging to different backgrounds. Infact this is the stage when a person or child can be substantially affected by his peers around. Parents destined their child to the school and among the society of other peple. The novice child is completely unaware of the people around him.
The exposure of yougsters to the world, wheter it is for the purpose of acquiring education or playing games is inevitabel. They are always ready to adapt the things that seem alluring to them regardless of the fact whether it is good or bad to follow. Consequently, they get involved in wrong activities. For instance, if a young person has peers around him who are addicted to smoking than it is very much likely that he will develop the same habit, no matter how much he tries to avoid but one day he will also be one of them. Likewise, there are so many youngsters who are always ready to commit juvenile delinquency so, whoever sits in there company will definitely get involved in such activities as well.
Certainly, this deep effect of peers company is instrumental in one's life and if this effect can extol your value than on the other hand it can also proved to be detrimental. It is our common experience that we adopt the habits of our peers which is quite unintentional.. Their talking habit, way of communicating and acting starts reflecting in our personality as well.
In conclusion, young people can be higly influenced by their peers. So, one should be very cautious in the selectionof his/her peers.
Roma
you need to go back and proof read your essay again. You seem to have a problem with keeping the same tense throughout. For instance "brought" in the 4th sentence and embarked in the next sentence. Good luck
hey
Thanks for your valuable suggestions. But can you please explain me the problem is with the tense? I believe i have used the past tese whereas it had to be the present tense used there. If it's possible than can you rate my essay according to IELTS scale?
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Various factors are influential in building one's character and behaviour.
The roles of family, peers and environment can't be neglected in this regard.
Moreover, they always try to brought bring up their child in the best way by keeping him away from all those negative aspects that can spoil him. ------See what Sean meant? If you say "always try" you have to use the present verb tense. "Always try to bring" ... "always tried to bring..." always will try to bring"...
However, they always remain worried by when letting their children embarked into the life activities in their absence.
... kinds of people belonging to different backgrounds. In fa ct, this is the stage when a person ...
other people.
The novice child is completely unaware of the people around him.
The exposure of youngsters to the world, whether it is for the purpose of acquiring education or playing games is inevitable .----Great sentence! But you spelled some words wrong.
Apostrophe:
Certainly, this deep effect of peers' company is ...
Great job! The mistakes are minor. The style is enjoyable to read. The only complaint I really have is that this essay has a simplistic message. You could give a message that is more "arguable," which means it is something not everyone would agree with. It is important to write an essay that has a message that is not just an obvious "truism."
Anyway, you are doing very well! I don't know how to rate you for ietls...
I agree with Kevin.You have great idea there, but in my opinion, I find your essay having plenty of rooms for elaboration. You can add something related to the cause of this or the nature of teenagers, how they always want to try new things, hence making them prone to immitate their peers.
