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Young people should be required to do unpaid work helping people in the community

Iwilltrymybest 3 / 7  
Jul 20, 2022   #1
Some people think that young people should be required to do unpaid work helping people in the community.

Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages

Some people reckon that it should be mandatory for the youth to partake in voluntary works as a way to help fellow citizens. While this practice could present drawbacks relating to time management and teenagers 'exploitation, from my point of view, the overall impact is tremendously positive.

On the one hand, that the young could derive substantial benefits from such works is in plain sight. First, volunteering may inspire in them a spirit of dedication and responsibility. As it is observed that the youth are intrinsically inclined to show scant concern for their surroundings, voluntary works could be a chance for them to dig deeper insight into lives of their fellow citizens, especially the underprivileged. With such activities as collecting trash under sizzling weather or delivering food, teenagers can grow into empathetic citizens who realize their accountability to the society. Furthermore, unpaid work could facilitate a safe and secured career. To be more specific, employers are apt to appreciate those taking part in voluntary work and contribute to the society since these candidates are considered to be equipped with requisite practical skills. Google, a large multinational firm, only recruit employees that have even-handed experience. Lacking this, candidate could fall behind by their competitors. As it shows, voluntary work could be beneficial.

On the other hand, there might be some drawbacks that need mentioning. The main reason is their shortage of time. Undoubtedly, teenagers have to allocate much of their time on study, however, volunteering means they need set aside a considerable time for such works. This, in practice, is annoying for those in final grade who prepare for the entrance exam. Consequently, diminuting study time could culminate in their poor academic performance coupled with a bleak career prospect. Moreover, that the young could be taken advantage seems liable. This is because several organizations endeavor to promote their image through such voluntary activities. Thanh Cong, a Vietnam food company, used to ask young participants to distribute flyers to raise public health awareness, but they actually contained adverts for their products with an aim to proliferate their sales instead. Therefore, it presents several drawbacks when it comes to volunteering of teenagers.

In conclusion, while the youth's partaking in voluntary work represents such downsides mentioned above, these are surpassed by such benefits as responsibility and career fulfilment. Hence, teenagers should spend time joining unpaid work.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,797 4780  
Jul 21, 2022   #2
The student has successfully failed to address all of the prompt requirements for the following reasons:

1. He changed the discussion from a comparison of advantages v. disadvantages to a positive v. negative discussion ( a different prompt requirement)
2. He spends too much time providing examples that confuse the discussion as these tend to stray from the original discussion and focus (employment has nothing to do with the discussion). He should be explaining his opinion instead based on only a single example, focusing in reasoning and logic after that presentation.

3. He offers an opinion when he is only being asked to compare the two points of view.

The writer does not understand the prompt requirement at all and can only receive scores for LR and GRA considerations. He will get a failing score.

I have to be honest here and say that the student is not showing any improvement with his essay writing approach. Instead, he is getting worse in his presentations. He seems to be ignoring the advice that I have been giving him. It is difficult to give new advice when the writer has not corrected the previous problems and instead, added new errors to his newest presentation. Since there is no improvement to be found, I do not see how I can continue to help him going forward.
OP Iwilltrymybest 3 / 7  
Jul 21, 2022   #3
sorry sir but there are some points I cannot understand what you say so I continue to make such mistakes :( can you explain more clearly the next Time :(

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