Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 3


Youngsters are lack of free time for their leisure activities in various countries in the world



asmaraj96 9 / 11  
Nov 3, 2016   #1
In some countries young people have little leisure time and are under a lot of pressure to work hard in their studies. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

Over decades, youngsters are lack of free time for their leisure activities in some countries in the world. Moreover, in the school, they have a lot of tasks or assignment from their teacher. Therefore, it is really important to know what the causes are and how to cope the notion.

Most of parents send their children to the reputable school and expect their children to acquire acceptable education quality. They sometimes ask to the children to have additional studying in the course especially at difficult subject such as math and science. As a consequent, they spend their time for studying mostly and when weekend come they just want to take rest at home preparing for school in the following day without thinking again to take a holiday for refreshing. In addition, the government in some countries has increased the extent of study program in order to improve the educational level of young generation. Although, it would make them more productive, students have to work extremely hard so that they suffer from studying too much.

In my opinion, there are some solutions that can solve those problems certainly. Firstly, parents should understand that learning too much is not good for children's health mentally or physically. They also need some break times to enjoy their hobbies or at least going to holiday with their peers. Secondly, education authorities should alter the study program to make it suitable for students. They should make sure whether the program that they have implemented to the schools is beneficial for the students in order to create acceptable quality of students or not.

In conclusion, the clear communication between parents and children about studying schedule are required to make balance between their obligation about school and utilizing their leisure time for doing holiday or hobbies. Then, a support from the government makes perfect to solve the problems.

amrillahmk 29 / 31  
Nov 3, 2016   #2
assignment from their teachers

and how to cope with the notion.

Most of parents send

especially at difficult subjects

they mostlyspend their time for studying mostly

they just want to take a rest
akbarmappiare 31 / 445  
Nov 4, 2016   #3
Hi Miss Asma.
These are a few suggestions to finalize your essay. hopefully, these can help you as well as possible.
GOOD LUCK


Over decades, youngsters are(You have to remember that each sentence only has one main verb)lack of free time ...

Therefore, it is really important to know what ...

The thesis statement is supposed to include your opinion or view on the matter. Avoid the sentence like that above because it seemed like the hackneyed sentence. You should show your opinion about the causes and solutions although only one or 2 sentences represent.

the government in some countries has increased the ...

Actually, you successfully explain the cause of the problem. I got the points which you mean. However, for the second opinion, you still need developing yours. You have to add the supporting sentences to strengthen your view. Please, you do not show novelty if you cannot review deeply. It is better you focus on one idea.

Firstly, parents should understand that learning too much is not good for children's health mentally or physically

I think this is not the solution. This tends to be a notice. You can offer like this "THE PARENTS REQUIRE MANAGE THE TIME OF THEIR CHILDREN BETWEEN STUDYING ADN PLAYING BY MAKING A CONSULTATION WITH A PSYCHOLOGY SO THAT THEY CAN EQUALIZE BETWEEN THOSE TOW ACTIVITIES.

In conclusion, the clear communication between parents ...

You should remember that the conclusion relates to the thesis statement.


Home / Writing Feedback / Youngsters are lack of free time for their leisure activities in various countries in the world
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳