IELTS TASK 2: Youngsters have problems but the government ignores this. Give solve problems?

Youngsters - the future of humanity

We are living in an era of development and innovation so everything gradually becomes better and better. On the other hand, there are still more problems about criminals, discrimination, rich-poor gap,... In which, the problem of young people can not be missing. Because youngsters are very important for future of humanity.

In my opinion, there are tow main problem in the youngsters:
The first, most young people often meet the issue of psychology and ethics. At of age, they have rebellious tendencies and feel without one person understanding them. The way for this is adults should take care young people more than. If youngsters feel alone, adults should listen to them and after give advice but attention avoids force them or judgments. The role of adult people should be a supporter, not a controller.

The second, pressure scores and achievements in school from them parents or someone in the family. Adult in the house impose children their must is good student and do not allow children play, only focus on learn. Everything of children are decided by mature people, such as chose career, interfere in relationships, favourite,... The over supervise cause young people to feel the house is like a prison. Besides, study continually not play leads to stress and they could not they less attitude. And so adult people especially in family should sympathy and promote them study instead of constrain. Educating young people about self-discipline and independence from an early age is more reasonable than restricting them.

After all, youngsters lack experience and they need proper look after by mature people. Because without young people there would be no adults. They are like bricks that make up a strong stronghold of all humans.

The restatement plus opinion paragraph will get an automatic failing scou as the writers representation does not reflect the original topic not the discussion instructions in any way. This will be considered an irrelevant representation and as such, be awarded the most relevant non-passing paragraph score. Once an essay fails to adhere to the original requirements, it will be considered an alteration and be scored based on its inapplicability to the discussion. It will prevent a passing score once other errors, such as incorrect punctuation use is added (Note: a comma can never be succeeded by an ellipse. No successive punctuation usage is allowed in English grammar).


Vocabulary weakness based on lack of proofreading. Tow means to pull, Two is a numerical reference.


What age? Grammatical confusion leading to points deduction.

The essay will recieve the lowest marks possible as the exam taker shows clear evidence of not being properly educated about various sentence structure, punctuation, and grammar rules. He is incapable of writing a coherent sentence, much less a paragraph. More theoretical grammar lessons are needed before the student attempts to write another task 2 essay.

@Holt thank you very much

Thanks for correcting my post

'Adult in the house impose children their ...'

This sentence is quite confusing, maybe due to the grammatical errors.
- 'Adults' not 'adult'.
- 'In the family' instead of 'in the house'
- Allow sb TO DO sth
- Overall, this sentence and the previous one should be combined and changed to 'Some adults are so obsessed with good grades and excellent academic performance that they force their children to focus too much on learning. Therefore, these youngsters have almost no time left for playing and exploring the world.'

This is only my opinion. Hope this would help!