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IELTS - Zoos are cruel or useful?

yirunli 7 / 17  
May 28, 2014   #1
Topic Some people think zoos are cruel and all the zoos should be closed. However, some people think zoos are useful to protect the rare animals.Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Protecting animals is a very popular topic in contemporary society. Zoos as the place to see live animals are criticized by some people stating zoos should be closed because it is so cruel to cage animals. However, other people think zoos can help us to protect the rare animals. As far as I am concerned, I am in favor of the latter view.

There is no doubt that zoos have been protecting the animals. First of all, it is necessary to keep some animals in the zoo since living in the wild does not suit them. For example, pandas as endangered species are well-fed and well cared in the national zoo, whereas those wild pandas are facing serious issues such as deforestation and lack of food. In addition, zoos are appropriate places to educate people rather than entertain them. People visiting zoos are not only browsing but also learning the way to take care of animals. If all the zoos are closed, it will be hard to find a place that people can gain knowledge about animals vividly. Last but not least, zoos can be the source of funds for the research of protecting rare animals. It is clear that more investments will make the research work more effective.

Admittedly, it is true that some animals are treated badly in some zoos. For instance, animals are forced to perform to attract more visitors so that the income of zoos will be increasing. Moreover, some animals are weak and unhealthy because they are not offered enough food and medicine.

To sum up, though in some zoos the living conditions of animals are not affirmative, overall zoos are useful because it they have made contributions to protecting rare animals in forms of offering education place, funds, etc.
monmomo04 1 / 4  
May 28, 2014   #2
It will be better if you balance the quantity of all the body's paragraphs. I mean you should try to develop more the crontethesis in the second paragraph which say zoos are cruel against animals.
Shokhusrav 10 / 27  
May 29, 2014   #3
I think you should switch the body paras with one another. It is better to have your strong opinion at the end. xD
dumi 1 / 6,924 1592  
Jun 5, 2014   #4
It will be better if you balance the quantity of all the body's paragraphs.

Yes, this has been one of my quick observations as I set my eyes on your essay :D However, you have covered them enough with reasons and examples and therefore I do not find any major issues there :)

Overall, you have written a good essay and hope you were able to manage time too. Have you finished this target on time?
Good luck with IETLS
OP yirunli 7 / 17  
Jun 6, 2014   #5
Thanks dumi. I got trouble on my speaking recently.
fikri 5 / 317 71  
Jun 7, 2014   #6
it seems extremely unbalanced, try to make it balance by giving more details in the third paragraph,

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