Human Relations class: Your view on this introduction

I need to answer the following questions in an essay for my Human Relations class.

 Future career aspirations in general
 Personal strengths that make me best suited for my career
 Knowledge skills and behaviors I posses to maximize my talents
 What role effective intrapersonal and interpersonal communication play in your future success?

INTRO:
There are a few career aspirations I have after graduation from college. One goal is to become certified as a medical coder and work in a hospital. In this role my personal strengths, knowledge skills and behaviors I possess that will maximize my talents and effective intrapersonal and interpersonal communication are imperative to my future success.

I usually like to begin essays like this with a quote. You can search google for a quote on how the right career has a significant impact on the life of an individual...

Thank you!

This can be a classic five paragraph essay.


This can serve as the thesis statement, expressed in the first paragraph.

The other three parts can each have a paragraph dedicated to them. Then, add a thoughtful conclusion paragraph at the end.

There are a few career aspirations I have after graduation from college. One goal is to become certified as a medical coder and work in a hospital.

It is redundant to say "my skills I possess"
In this role my the personal strengths, knowledge, skills and behaviors I possess that will maximize my talents and effective intrapersonal and interpersonal communication are imperative to crucial for my future success.

I don't think that use of "imperative" was quite right...

:-)