People enroll universitys because of increased knowledge

hey, please have a look on my essay :) I would like to hear your opinion.

After finishing school the vast majority of young people continue their education by attending a college or university. There are many various motives for this. I myself think that young enroll universitys in order to increase their knowledge.

First of all, while studying at college you improve your general level of knowledge and surplus get an extra skills in one field that is most suitable for your. which of course leads to perfection of our education.

Secondly, college or university is the best way to get knowledge needed to future career. As the requirements for employees are higher and higher one should be able to meet the standarts and for this college seems to be a perfect place.

In conclusion, I think that most people enroll universitys because of increased knowledge which is a guarantee of your future career.

Hi Mariam,

I moved this essay to a new thread. Please start anew thread when you post an essay. :-)

There are many various motives for this.---Personally, I like you say "many various," but some people might think you are making am mistake because "various" implies many (sort of). But anyway, it might be best to take out the word many.

I myself think that young people enroll universities in order to increase their knowledge.

... to meet the standards and for this college seems to be a perfect place.

In conclusion, I think that most people enroll universitys universities because of increased knowledge which is a guarantee of your future career.---I like this sentence! You are doing well. Keep practicing!!

Note: When a word ends in y and you want to make it plural, change the y to ies.
Example: University, universities, city, cities, dummy, dummies, bully, bullies.
But if it has ey just add an s: Monkey, monkeys, key, keys...