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Technology creates problems for humans and is not good for everything and everyone.



Shoh 1 / -  
Mar 17, 2011   #1
1-an introduction paragraph which ends with the thesis statement;
2-a body paragraph which includes a detailed description or explanation of your example/s; and
3-a conclusion paragraph which derives a 'moral' or a lesson from your argument.
4-Write an exemplification essay.
5-Your goal is to provide thee representatkve extended examples to be true.

Introductory hook: Technology is good for everything and everyone.

Thesis statement: brief list of three examples in parallel form
Thesis: Technology is not creates problems for humans because of Airplanes, mobiles and computers.

Topic sentence for paragraph 1: Airplanes is the most sefty transport.
Supporting Details and reasons in bullet point form.
-Airplanes care for everyone's luggage to do not lose them.
-Airplanes always is flying by route to avoid any crash with other aircrafts.

Tpoic sentence for paragraph 2: Mobiles is connecting people and helps to keep in tuch.
Details and reasons:
-by mobiles people can call to the hospital or to the police in a critical situations.
-by mobiles people can call to close people while for miles away form them.

Topic sentance for paragraph: 3 Computers are the most important technology in nowadays computers help for everything.
Detils and reasons:
-to construct a building architectures need a computer.
-To know any information that people does not know they a computer with board band conection.

First of all, airplanes always caring about people life. Thus in airport and in airplane safety is always comes first. Nowadays too many people likes to fly on airplanes, because comfortable and everything alrady organized by dispatcher, staff, airman and so on. They consider all the main points to avoid any catastrophe, that could be happend. Differences from a car an airplanes fly in the sky by the free route, where airplanes fly without risk.

could someone check my essay and give me some advice how to write this essay? In advance very grateful =*)

KathyLala 20 / 114  
Mar 18, 2011   #2
Wow, first of all, writing about technology is a topic that I hate most because of its humongous!!! Athough, you have a good outline, I still feel you thesis is broad. With airplanes, mobiles, and computers using technology you can write a book about them. So instead of talking about airplanes, mobiles, and computers in all, you can break into a few narrow categories such as "technology makes commutation convenience" then you can include the airplanes, subways, cars....So if you want to talk about technology helps to ensure the safety of the passengers, you can include the airplanes with all the safety tips (since you already have in your outline, I just add some more for you). Your paraghap 2 looks good, but do not just focus on mobile phone, you focus on "technology connects people together" example; emails faster, instance messager, webcame, youtube, with all of these you can share happy events together even though you are living far away from each other. Para 3, "computers help for everything." is too broad. How about computers help in building, medical, teaching....(just choose one). Remember your point "technology provides a better quality of life", choose 3 points; OK, prove them. Don't focus on indivial object, otherwise you need a day to talk about it.

Thesis: Technology is not creates problems for humans such as airplanes, mobiles and computers.

Topic sentence for paragraph 1: Airplanes is the most sefty transport.
Supporting Details and reasons in bullet point form.
-Airplanes care for everyone's luggage to do not lose them.
-Airplanes always is flying by route to avoid any crash with other aircrafts.
-Engine checked for every detail before flying, maintenance yearly (quarterly)
-Flying attendants come and check every traveller if wearing seatbelt properly , exit & emergency door, safety equipments in case of an emergency
-monitor if you have storm, weather changing to ensure the safety...
EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Mar 21, 2011   #3
Thanks, Kathy!

And here is some help with the grammar:
Technology does not create problems for humans, because airplanes, automobiles, and computers have more benefits than drawbacks.

Airplanes represent the safest form of transportation.

Automobiles are connecting people with one another and helping them to keep in touch.

Computers are the most important technology nowadays, because they help with everything.

First of all, airplanes always caring about have a good track record for transporting people safely. people life . Thus in airport and ...

They consider all the main points to avoid any catastrophe that could happen.

Differences from a car an airplanes fly in the sky by the free route, where airplanes fly without risk. I don't understand this sentence.

:-)
Need Help - / 1  
Sep 27, 2012   #4
Technology and its effects on human body - Thesis Statement

Hi!!
Can you please help me make a Thesis Statement for my research? It's about the Effects of technology our human body.
Thanks Everyone and god bless!! :D
LIGE 2 / 2  
Oct 10, 2012   #5
People have different views regarding the influence of technology on human body.
ding 2 / 2  
Oct 10, 2012   #6
Technology has advanced life of human race but on the other hand, its effects on human body are still debatable.


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