Hello,
Am looking for feedback in the content of my academic intent below. I hope you guys can help me make corrections and suggestions to make it more concise and competitive to secure an admission.
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Observing the world around me, it is clear economics can clarify so much. Take the stock market: an intricate web of transactions, demand and supply models can explain it clearly. Using such models has encouraged me to pursue economics with the hope of learning about them in greater depth and with increased complexity. It is this relevance to our lives and the ability to break situations down and analyse them that has attracted me towards economics. I find economic policy analysis to be particularly fascinating as it addresses many interesting problem in public finance, public policy and the dynamics between governments in general through qualitative and quantitative approaches. My interest in applied economics and policy analysis however is a recent development in my career. I believe it is a byproduct of my various life experiences, my research interests, and my academic backgrounds.
On completion of my national diploma program in mathematics and statistics at ABC Polytechnic, I was keen to expand my knowledge; as such, the area of economics interests me. My first encounter with economics came when I took an elective course in economic and social statistics during my second year. This sparked an interest in the subject and proved to be a turning point in my academic career. After successfully completing my national diploma program in mathematics and statistics, and still wanting to learn more about economics I pursued a Bachelor's degree in Economics at XYZ University, Owo. My curiosity for solving intricate problem in mathematics steered me towards taking a variety of courses in algebra, calculus to improve my knowledge.
However, during my undergraduates, I was fascinated by the materials introduced to me in my calculus class. I was encouraged not only to absorb the information presented, but also to pursue it. The allure of the mathematical and statistical tools essential to understanding economics reaffirmed my interest in this field. Fortunately for me, I have been taught by very good lecturers. The courses I took with Dr. EFG on advanced microeconomics and advanced macroeconomics arouses my inherent curiosity to it. Prof. HIJ made issues of Energy and petroleum economics and International economics fascinating. Lectures delivered by Dr. UVW instigated my interest to the study of economic planning and policy development. I enjoyed listening to them and want to enlighten my mind to operate in a similar manner because attention is paid to every single fact and each formal problem solved reflects a real economic situation.
Ultimately, I seek to pursue a Master's in Applied Economics and Policy Analysis. I am completely prepared for a new leap in my economics career. I am determined to work hard in hope that the quantity of the effort I put in will result in distinctive knowledge. The fact is, the best possible professors coupled with an extremely competitive environment are necessary for this quality. The only reasonable decision for me was to aim for such a place. All this gives me the credibility to apply to University of IJK because emphasizes would be laid on the rigor and analytical tools that are necessary for policy analysis. I want to develop and exploit these skills to the greatest extent by carrying research in the Canadian public sector or in world nonprofit organisations such as the United Nations. I feel the help and guidance that can be provided to me by the distinguished faculty of your university will be invaluable. I am sure if given the opportunity to study at your university I will be in favorable environment that will bring the best in me.
Economics being a global phenomenon, I would find it particularly helpful to study in Canada. I believe this relocation would expose me to ways of thoughts that are unknown to me yet vital in an increasingly interrelated world. I would like to be involved in strengthening the relationships that are bred globally and fueled by cross-cultural professions. As economists are key players in this process, my attempts to join their ranks are enthusiastic and resolute. Studying applied economics and policy analysis appeals to me because it promises the possibility of leadership. Thus, I have sought to equipoise my studies with experiences that prepare me for such possibilities. My knowledge of advanced quantitative analysis, statistical expertise and extensive research experience in development economics, basic economic models and a strong background in abstract modeling and data evaluation; all this gives me the credibility of an economist with an aptitude for addressing issues through creative statistical techniques, but my ambition is to be the better among the best. I have been involved in a unique student research program, where I led a team of four undergraduate students towards a presentation to the staff and students on: Brain Drain; it effects on the Nigerian economy and my thesis involved The Impact of Adire on the Economic Growth of Ogun State.
I portray an essential research and presentation skills as well as growing a lot more active in my learning. I have proved how committed and responsible I am, while perfecting my teamwork and leadership skills by taking on the roles of the Editor-in Chief of COSMAS TOUCH MAGAZINE, the maiden publication of XYZ University, Owo and the pioneer public relation officer of the faculty of applied science students society in The ABC Polytechnic,. My decent academic and social records along with significant abilities in the field of sports (cycling, chess and badminton), both of which will ensure that I would be an asset for the university.
I have strong desire for success, and in the future I hope to be successfully involved in economic policy at an intense level. I would like to gain experience in the professional world, perhaps in the cabinet as an advisor or to pursue a job in the financial sector. Applying economic principles to markets is something I greatly enjoy.
By studying Applied Economics and Policy Analysis (MA), I aim to understand how the world operates in greater depth. My passion combined with my academic potential are but two characteristics that I believe will aid my success.
1st para
I find economic policy analysis to be particularly fascinating as it addresses many interesting problems in public finance,
2nd para
After successfully completing my national diploma program in mathematics and statistics, and still wanting to learn more about economics I pursued a Bachelor's degree in Economics at XYZ University, Owo. My curiosity for solving intricate problem in mathematics steered me towards taking a
superfluous and it sounds more immediate
3rd para
The courses I took with Dr. EFG on advanced microeconomics and advanced macroeconomics arousesd my inherent curiosity to it.
Past tense
4th para
All this gives me the credibility to apply to University of IJK because emphasizesemphasis
Noun
I want to develop and exploit these skills to the greatest extent by carrying out research in the Canadian public sector or in world nonprofit organisations such as the United Nations.
I feel the help and guidance that can be provided to me by theyour distinguished faculty of your
I am sure if given the opportunity to study at your university, I will be in a favorable environment that will bring out the best in me.
6th para
Economics being a global phenomenon, I would find it particularly helpful to study in Canada.
[iIt has nothing to do with rest of paragraph[/i]
As economists are key players in this process, my attempts to join their ranks are enthusiastic and resolute. Studying applied economics and policy analysis appeals to me because it promises the possibility of leadership.
I am resolute in joining the key players in economics and also taking on a leadership role through my studies of Applied Economics and Policy Analysis.
Thus, I have sought to equipoise my studies with experiences that prepare me for such possibilities. My knowledge of advanced quantitative analysis, statistical expertise and extensive research experience in development economics, basic economic models and a strong background in abstract modeling and data evaluation; all thisgivesequips me with the credibility skills of an economist with an aptitude for addressing issues through creative statistical techniques. , but my ambition is to be the better among the best.
From here start new paragraph on your relevant activities. I have been involved in a unique student research program, where I led a team of fou r undergraduate students towardsin a presentation to the staff and students on: Brain Drain; it effects on the Nigerian economyAnd Its Effects On The Nigerian Economy.and . M y thesis involved The Impact of Adire on the Economic Growth of Ogun State.
this is very important and you need to give details of your thesis and explain what ADIRE is.Join the next paragrapah here, to continue other activities you have.
7th para
My decent academic and social records along with significant abilities in the field of sports (cycling, chess and badminton), both of which will ensure that I would be an asset for to the university.
8th para
I have strong desire for success, and in the future I hope to be successfullyMy greatest ambition is to be involved in economic policy as an intense level an advisor to the cabinet. I would like to gain experience in the professional world, perhaps in the cabinet as an advisor or to pursue a job in the financial sector . Applying economic principles to markets is something I greatly enjoy, and would passionately like to contribute to my country and its future.
With this ending you would not need your last paragraph.
What I have done is to make your essay shorter and to the point, so the reader knows the amount of work and your qualifications, without being distracted by repetition of phrases. Good luck.
busybee
thanks so much, I really appreciate your kind help.
I have made some corrections, kindly go through it
I find applied economics and policy analysis to be particularly fascinating as it addresses many interesting problems in public finance, public policy and the dynamics between governments in general through qualitative and quantitative approaches. My interest in applied economics and policy analysis however is a recent development in my career. I believe it is a byproduct of my various life experiences, my research interests, and my academic backgrounds.
The knowledge I gained during my national diploma program in mathematics and statistics improved my ability to solve mathematical and statistical problems and an area that enthralled me was calculus and descriptive statistics thus, I was motivated to learn about its complex uses in economics. On completion of my diploma program, I pursued a Bachelor's degree program in economics at ABC, Owo.
The courses I took with Dr. XYZ on advanced microeconomics and advanced macroeconomics aroused my inherent curiosity to it. Lectures delivered by LMO instigated my interest to the study of economic planning and policy development. I enjoyed listening to them and want to enlighten my mind to operate in a similar manner because attention is paid to every single fact and each formal problem solved reflects a real economic situation.
Ultimately, I seek to pursue a Master's in Applied Economics and Policy Analysis. I am completely prepared for a new leap in my economics career. I am determined to work hard in hope that the quantity of the effort I put in will result in distinctive knowledge. The fact is, the best possible professors coupled with an extremely competitive environment are necessary for this quality. The only reasonable decision for me was to aim for such a place, all this gives me the credibility to apply to University of EFG because emphasises would be laid on the rigor and analytical tools that are necessary for policy analysis. I want to develop and exploit these skills by carrying out a research in the Canadian public sector or in nonprofit organisations such as the United Nations. I feel the help and guidance that would be provided to me by your distinguished faculty of your university will be invaluable. I am sure if given the opportunity to study at your university I will be in a favorable environment that will bring out the best in me.
Economics being a global phenomenon, I would find it particularly helpful to study in Canada. I believe this relocation would expose me to ways of thoughts that are unknown to me yet vital in an increasingly interrelated world. I would like to be involved in strengthening the relationships that are bred globally and fueled by cross-cultural professions. As economists are key players in this process, I am resolute in joining the key players in economics and also taking on a leadership role through my studies of Applied Economics and Policy Analysis.
My knowledge of advanced quantitative analysis, statistical expertise and research experience in development economics, basic economic models and a strong background in abstract modeling and data evaluation, all this equips me with the skills of an economist with an aptitude for addressing issues through creative statistical techniques.
I led a team of undergraduate students in a presentation to the staff and students on: Brain Drain and its effects on the Nigerian economy. My thesis involved The Impact of Adire on the Economic Growth of Ogun State. Adire is traditional attire that is produced in the Abeokuta area of Ogun State. My thesis creates an eye opener to the state government on how it can exploit the Adire industry to become an international tourist attraction, increase the state's revenue and create job opportunities to the people of Ogun State. It also proposes suggestions to the federal government of Nigeria on how Adire can increase the GDP of the Nigerian economy. My decent academic and social records along with significant abilities in the field of sports (cycling, chess and badminton), both of which will ensure that I would be an asset to the university
My greatest ambition is to be involved in economic policy as an advisor or to pursue a job in the financial sector. Applying economic principles to markets is something I greatly enjoy and would passionately like to contribute to my country and its future.
