"Archaeopteryx" - why graduate study, why Purdue, career goals, research interests - SOP

Please submit a statement of approximately 300-500 words concerning your purpose for undertaking or continuing graduate study, your reasons for wanting to study at Purdue, and your professional plans, career goals, and research interests. You also may explain any irregularities or special circumstances applicable to your background and elaborate on your special abilities, awards, achievements, scholarly publications, and/or professional history.

This is my SOP for Purdue graduate admissions in ECE. Please provide your valuable comments, reviews or feedbacks. I would appreciate your help and i request you to spare no harsh word if required. Thanking you in advance.

Electronic gadgets have intrigued me since my childhood. My proclivity towards electronics informed my decision to major in Electronics and Communication at the SRM University, India and has culminated in a desire to pursue MS in Electrical and Computer Engineering (ECE).

[...]

Vinayak, you do not seem to have enough professional credentials to apply for masters degree studies. You only speak of college academic accomplishments and experience. An SOP for masters or PhD studies hinges on your professional experience of not less than 1.5 years and begs you answer the following questions:

1. What is your current profession and how does it relate to your desire for higher studies? (Possible promotion, change of career within the same field, etc.)

2. What professional training, seminars, lectures, hands on training have you recently attended that has pushed you to delve deeper into studies within the field?
3. A summary of your college background and internship experiences.
4. Short and long term career goals in terms of this profession and how this masters degree will help you achieve that.

These are the most important information that must provide in your SOP. Prove that you have what it takes to stay the course and complete it because the masters studies require more than any college degree has ever demanded of its students. Unless of course that student is taking up medicine :-)

Hi vangiespen.
Thank you for your time and effort in reviewing my SOP.

This is the question asked by the university:
Please submit a statement of approximately 300-500 words concerning your purpose for undertaking or continuing graduate study, your reasons for wanting to study at Purdue, and your professional plans, career goals, and research interests. You also may explain any irregularities or special circumstances applicable to your background and elaborate on your special abilities, awards, achievements, scholarly publications, and/or professional history.

The essay has a max. limit of 500 words. I am currently doing a 4 month internship at a reputed government research institute but i cannot mention all its details given the word limit.

As you said, i do not have sufficient work experience. I am trying if i get into a good university this year or else i will postpone it for 2 years maybe, have some work ex and then apply again.

I have mentioned my academic background quite elaborately along with my major internship of 4 months.

My research goals are in the following paragraph, which i intend to add :
At Purdue, I would like to pursue my research in the field of pervasive computing and multi-core architectures. Fault tolerant systems is another research area that I would like to explore.

Long term goal i will be mentioning in the final paragraph as to build a career in the Embedded systems industry.

The only problem is with the word limit. Can you please tell me how i can improve this SOP considering i do not have sufficient experience?

Again, I am really grateful you are taking out time out of the busy schedule you maybe having and i really appreciate that.

Have a nice day.

The thing is Viyanak, a masters degree demands that you have the professional background to support your foundation of advanced studies. The reason behind the 2 year minimum work experience for successful applicants is that you should already have at least a basic experience regarding the job requirements, difficulties, and work related problems that need solving. Masters studies demands that you know how to handle such situations at least in a basic form because the course of study you will be undertaking will evolve from that experience and require you to solve even greater problems or work on even more demanding projects. If you do not have the professional background as a skill set to support the demands of the course, you may end up dropping out due to the complexity of the classes and projects involved. College was only a foundation for your current career. You are just beginning. You don't have enough work experience to be able to say that you can proficiently answer and respond to the demands of a masters degree.

A masters degree is all about looking towards the next step in your career hierarchy. This means you are beyond the college experience which is only minimal in terms of work experience. Even your internship is not as remarkable as you see it at the moment. I suggest you wait until you have even more experience with which to enhance your application. There is no rush. You are not even sure about how this degree might help you advance in your profession at this point. Sure you have plans and goals right now. Are you sure that will not change as you gain work experience? Are you absolutely sure that this is your calling and that you will be able to reach the pinnacles of success in this field? If you are absolutely sure that you can handle the rigors and demands of a masters degree with the little work experience you currently have then I will help you with the word count and trying to make this paper look like you can actually handle the demands of the course :-)

I am not belittling you in any way. I just want you to consider all your options and make sure that you are capable of handling the demands of the course. Remember, masters degree drop outs are frowned upon in the workplace. Please consider all your options and make sure that you can stay the course and complete the path before you move any further with your application. I will be here to support any decision that you make :-)

I would still want to give it a shot. I feel i will be able to cope with the complexity of the courses and the cut-throat competition at top grad schools. Can you please help me in improving this essay?

Okay. I will help you try to fix this essay. At the moment, the essay is already too long for an SOP. Summarizing your academic experience and internship opportunities will work best at this point. Try to develop the latter paragraph relating to your future project ideas and goals upon completion of your masters studies. Let's see how strong we can make it.Maybe strengthening your future plans will work to the benefit of your application. We will do our best together. I will be honest with you and tell you that at the moment, your SOP is very weak and may not hold up to further examination by the admissions officers when considered side by side with more qualified applicants for the program. I will help you strengthen it but I am not making any promises about how it will be received for consideration by the relevant parties :-)

How about this paragraph for future research :

At Purdue, I would like to pursue my research in the field of pervasive computing and multi-core architectures. Fault tolerant systems is another research area that I would like to explore.

In future, I want to do work on "Cooperating Objects" which combines three seminal domains - embedded systems, pervasive computing and wireless sensor networks. Combining the strength of these three domains would be pioneering in the near future and change the way we think of modern day embedded devices. I would want to pursue a professional career in the research and development of the ever evolving embedded systems industry with vastly experienced professors and industry experts and apply my technical expertise in solving industrial level problems.

I appreciate all your efforts and would like to thank you for your support.

Also, can i mention the name of any professor whose work has intrigued me?

Write the whole essay and then post it here. I cannot edit it in piece mill or paragraph section form. I need to make sure that the whole essay will flow properly and connect in a manner that will hopefully present you in a light that shows how you can benefit from the masters program even with your short comings experience-wise. You need to prove you are an exceptional student and worker who deserves this chance. Don't waste time writing it by section. Show me the whole paper and then we will work on the problem parts and enhance certain sections. Remember, you have a word limit. So we need to move in a precise manner within the given word count. If you feel that mentioning the mentors from their university who inspired your future goals will help enhance your presentation of your abilities then go ahead and do so. Mention them in your future research portion.

Hi Vangiespen.

I am sorry to have wasted your time and effort by sending you a part of it. Now, i have posted the whole essay. Currently, it is exceeding by 86 words, but with your help and guidance i feel i will be able to reduce it easily removing the unnecessary parts.

Hi Vinayak. Don't worry about it. It is just easier and better for both of us if I revise the full essay each time instead of doing it portion by portion and then having to revise the whole essay another set of times because of problems that will finally show up once the paragraphs are spliced together :-) I am sorry if I sound harsh in my reviews. I have to be direct to the point with you because we are trying to accomplish and almost impossible task here. I am not angry at you nor irritated. Let me review your current version now.


- Prove it. This is your introduction paragraph. This is where you set the tone and foundation for your whole statement of purpose. Show the progression of your interest prior to your college enrollment and subsequent graduation. We are going to have to deviate from the proper SOP standards in your case and write a convincing essay instead based upon your life experience qualifications. So explain what you did and what you learned on your own, without any help from formal academic training that can prove your abilities to work individually and without supervision on complex problems and critical situations.


- I would like you to develop this portion further. If you do not have the experience to back you up, then we will try to prove that you have the intellect to succeed. I assume this work got published? If it was, state the publication and date. Discuss the content of the paper in a more in-depth manner and explain the reception to your presentation at your conference.

- This is not a college application essay. Such discussions belong in common app prompt essays.


-Make this your opening hook. Add this to your introductory paragraph. It is quite strong and is misplaced at the middle of the essay.

- Think of how you see yourself advancing career wise after you complete the masters degree instead. Talk about your future plans ranging from 5-10 years. Make the basis of this paragraph a particular project idea that you plan on developing, researching, and concluding during your time as a student.

- Again, this is a college level application statement. You need to sound very professional and determined to succeed on a higher level. Just omit this for now.

After you complete the revisions, let me know how you feel about the changes I suggested and if you feel like the essay has improved to a higher degree. Then post the revision in this thread and I will offer more comments and revisions if necessary. This can be a long and tedious process. I hope you have the patience and determination to see it through. The essay will be ready when you tell me that you feel it is :-)

Hi Vangiespen!
Thank you for your valuable reviews. Your harsh reviews will make my essay be compatible for graduate study so not a problem with that.
I know the process is quite long and tedious. Its already getting to me.
I wanted to ask whether the other paragraphs you did not mention are fine or do they need modifications as well?

Hey Vinayak! About the paragraphs I omitted, if you don't see me editing it, that means it should be included in the next version of the essay. Sorry if I did not make that clear to you. My fault :-) At this point I am just trying to make sure that we keep the portions that will somehow enhance your application and highlight some skills and abilities that could call the attention of the admissions officer. Hopefully, it will work to your benefit and convince him or her to forgo any shortcomings in your application in terms of professional experience, seminars, etc. We will keep adjusting the essay until you feel that it works best for you already :-)

Hi Vangiespen.

I have tried to keep in mind all that you told and edited the essay. Unfortunately, i could not get my paper published then due to financial reasons. Here is my essay.

The MS in Electrical and Computer Engineering (ECE) program at Purdue University, with its rigorous course structure involving both research and coursework is of great interest to me. The breadth of the curriculum with courses from Computer Architecture to Advanced Computer Systems will give me a thorough knowledge in an area of research that fascinates me- Computer engineering. The inter-disciplinary approach in the various research areas such as the Automatic Control and Communications, Networking, Signal & Image Processing would provide opportunities as well as challenges to create innovative solutions to the immediate problems prevailing in the world. The state of the art laboratories such as Embedded Systems Laboratory and Dependable Computing Systems Laboratory would help me in achieving my research interests in the field of Embedded Systems. Being a cultural melting pot, Purdue University would provide an environment of diverse ideas and innovation.

I am particularly interested in the work of Prof. Vijay Raghunathan on project "AVEKSHA", which has increased the applicability of wireless embedded nodes and the fidelity of the collected data. The prospect of working at the Embedded Systems Lab on projects such as "AVEKSHA" really excites me. The conference paper by Prof. Anand Raghunathan on "Best-effort Computing" with its best effort approach to parallel computing has driven me to study the intricacies of this concept on my own.

At Purdue, I would like to pursue my research in the field of pervasive computing and multi-core architectures. "Cooperating Objects" which combines three seminal domains-embedded systems, pervasive computing and wireless sensor networks is another field I would like to explore. Researching on these would help me achieve my goal of designing low power wireless embedded nodes with high computational abilities.

My tenure at my undergraduate University's robotics team SRM Team Robocon and Satellite prototyping team WelkinSat exposed me to a plethora of algorithms and mechanisms and I worked with numerous sensors, interfaced them with microcontroller and executed long-distance communication using ZigBee protocol. Working on these projects veered me towards research in embedded systems.

Being the finance manager and the programming lead of both the teams, burnished my managerial and leadership skills. Working long hours on these projects while maintaining high academic grades, led to the enhancement of my time management skills.

The paper I wrote with my colleagues on a modern surveillance vehicle "Archaeopteryx" capable of traversing over land, water and air, and controllable through the Internet got selected in the International Conference on Control, Mechatronics and Automation (2013) in Sydney. While working on the paper and testing quad-rotors, I researched extensively on the architectures of various microcontrollers suitable for applying the complex algorithms to stabilize the surveillance vehicle.

Along with my past research, MS in ECE program will help me achieve the goal of building a professional career in research and development in embedded systems industry and solve industrial level problems in the field of pervasive computing and wireless embedded systems with the knowledge gained during my graduate study.

I really don't see how else we can improve your essay due to the lack of experience on your part. I will try to pull the interest of the reader into your potential as a student instead. Let us see how the essay will look and feel if you change the opening statement instead to portray your vision of the world will be like if your project became a reality. The idea will be to sell them on your skill set instead. Just revise the introduction. The rest of the essay is fine so far :-)