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Why Do You Want to Become a Teacher? -- Bac Elementary Education


jaybird88 1 / 2  
Jun 23, 2012   #1
Entrance Essay for Post Bac Elementary Education Program

This is my very first draft. I am not a strong writer, so please, be honest! I would like to use more descriptive and advanced vocabulary. And I've also never written an essay for a graduate application, so I'm not sure what they admissions committee is looking for when it comes to these essays. Here is the prompt:

I have written an essay for Drexel University, and I am applying to the post-baccalaureate elementary education program. The prompt is to write about why I am interested in pursuing graduate study in education.

While preparing to write this essay, I was searching through quotes regarding various teaching philosophies. I came across a few that were noteworthy, but one struck a chord with me, written by an unknown author: "A good teacher is like a candle-it consumes itself to light the way for others." I can confirm that this statement is true. Throughout college, I worked as an assistant preschool teacher. It is because of this experience that I was able to recognize my dream of becoming a certified teacher. I have never felt so accomplished, so proud. It is here that I realized what joy it brings me to plan and implement a lesson. It is here that I realized how remarkable it is to see a child learn something new every day. It is also here that I realized teaching is my dream.

When I speak of the word "consume" in the preceding quote, I do not speak of it in a negative sense. To me, to consume myself in my work as a teacher does not mean to work myself to the point of destruction. It, instead, means to work very hard to develop myself and my craft. To become a certified teacher will help me do so. I have such a strong desire to learn about new and emerging education theories, and how I would implement them in my own classroom to allow all of my students to learn to the best of their abilities.

I was diagnosed with severe Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder in my junior year of college. This was such a relief to me because I finally was able to understand why school had been so difficult for me. Though I loved learning, I always found myself becoming frustrated because I could not concentrate on an assignment long enough to complete it to the best of my abilities. Although my diagnosis did not come until college, my learning disability is something that affected my entire school career. For example, in the third grade, I was the only child in the room who struggled with the differences between "they're" and "their." I could not pay attention to the lesson long enough to learn how one word differentiated from the other. Luckily, I had a wonderful third grade teacher named Mrs. Cassettes who was an amazing educator. She saw that I was struggling. Reflecting back, I now can see that instead of trying to change my learning style, she sought to change her teaching style. I was a musically inclined individual and Mrs. Cassettes was able to identify that. She composed a song about how to use the two words and taught it to the whole class, as not to single me out. I will never forget the song, or Mrs. Cassettes.

Becoming a certified teacher will allow me to help my own students through similar situations. Though this only represents a small fragment of why I want to become a certified teacher, it certainly is a most accurate fragment. Learning in the early years is such an important process. How one learns and is taught here stays with a person for life. If I had any other teacher than Mrs. Cassettes, I would not have fond memories of school and learning. I want to be a part of that for the future generations.

I look forward to reading your comments.

You are welcome to be brutally honest! I need all the help I can get!

dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Jun 23, 2012   #2
Hi Jaime,

While preparing to write this essay I was searching through quotes on the internet regarding philosophies of teaching. I came across a few that struck a chord with me and described exactly why I want to become a certified teacher. Although these quotes are very powerful, the only one that repeats in my mind is an answer I gave to a coworker.

I feel this drags too much and does not reveal much information to arouse the reader's interest to find out why you want to become a certified teacher. You say you searched quotes and found some interesting ones. Then you say out of all one echoed in your ear. Then you bring in this coworker's story.... All these may annoy the reader and it seems that you have too many irrelevant facts for your introductory para.... The introductory para needs to be very strong and catchy to grab readers attention. So, do away with these detailed stuff. Simply start saying that while you searching a good quote for this essay, you found one quote (have to tell the reader exactly what this quote is) which exactly describes your why you have such a strong desire for pursuing this course. Then explain briefly what you aim to gain from it that would help achieve your dreams. :)
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Jun 23, 2012   #3
Dear Jaime,

You indicate a strong point in your second para to tell the reader that what inspired you to be a teacher. It's an interesting story. There again, tell the reader what your real problem had been, I mean with what learning disability you suffered during your elementary college time. Mention the scientific name of the disability. Try and avoid irrelevant details and be focused. And then tell how you got rid of it and the value of the contribution that teacher made in helping you recover from that disability. Also stress the fact that you too got inspired by this personal experience.

I personally admire your intentions and they have a great value and if everybody attempts to give back something to the world like this, then this world would be a great place to live. If you can get the reader to feel it, your essay would turn out to be an outstanding one. You have very strong case and points :)


Waiting for your next draft .... love to help a person like you :)

. Although my diagnosis did not come until college

---------- Although the diagnosis of my learning disability did not happen until I attended college(specify which level - elementary or high school)
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Jun 23, 2012   #4
Hi Graham,

I just made my comments on another thread that too starts with very similar sentences and the prompt too is the same. If you are not the same person, have a look at the other thread, and avoid your chances for being caught plagiarism.

hile preparing to write this essay, I was searching through quotes regarding various teaching philosophies. I came across a few that were noteworthy, but one really struck a chord with me, written by an unknown author: "A good teacher is like a candle-it consumes itself to light the way for others."

Very nice... a very good quote indeed :)

However, I like the reason I found in the other essay which arouses emotional feelings of the reader. And hope both of you are the same guy :)


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