I'm writing the Motivation Letter in order to apply for Computer Science program. My undergraduate major is Information Engineer. I'm not sure whether the logic or structure of my letter reasonable, and if I miss something.Could you please give me some advice?
Life is a matter of choice, and through experience and practice we should learn to choose better options. I chose Information Engineering as my undergraduate major because I had participated in several robotic contests in high school. I feel very fortunate to have attended my university because it has offered me more sophisticated knowledge and broadened my horizons. Besides working rigorously in my course work, I am still able to dig into other activities as well, although as a student of an elite class, meaning that the lowest scores students have the potential to be eliminated from the program, which means heavy academic pressure. The experience that my university has provided me has helped me develop a clear vision of becoming a leading developer that will help shape the future. This is the goal I am fighting for in the coming days and there are the steps so far that I have taken to get there.
I joined the AAA Innovation Club in my second year of university and began to learn Android development. Unlike practicing programming by making small games or solving questions on my own, by joining this club I was able to learn with other members and participate in larger projects. I felt very fortunate because I was able to develop a mentoring relationship with seniors who guidance about how to be a good developer such as learning to search for useful information from official websites, writing proper comments to codes and managing my codes on Github. Because of them I discovered the colorful and splendid world constructed of codes. Gradually I found myself attracted by programming and I spent more time practicing.
Together, with three other club members, we developed a software called TV Partner. In the development process, we had arguments about its function implementation and UI design. In making a final decision about choosing TCP or UDP, we programmed several demos in both ways and tested them in different network situations and devices. After many experiments and discussions, we eventually adopted the multiple time transmission form of UDP connection. This experience helped me appreciate the value of IT industry and I enjoyed the experience of working together for a common goal and finding the best solution. We received positive evaluations by some AAA's employees who, as a result, offered us an internship opportunity.
The internship gave me valuable experience working in a big corporation. It was very different from things I have learned through completing projects. What I learned was that the focus should be on realistic factors such as user requirements, maintenance cost and promoting strategy instead of only focusing on how to achieve functions. I saw the significance of the coding's optimization and efficiency and how it becomes much more necessary because of the vast number of users. During the internship, my team adopted the Agile Development Mode that we learned and applied it to our project. We documented our progress throughout and had daily meetings to report our progress and assignments. Through this process I saw how important good teamwork and proper scheduling was. This experience let me know how to apply better those knowledge I have learned. It also showed me the importance of having an excellent platform with abundant resources and a good development team. Most importantly, it made me determined that to earn a sky of myself in this field.
Following that experience, I joined a national innovation project for college students. I was instructed to read open source codes and interpret them so that I could directly learn others' way of thinking. During that time, I had reviewed many technological blogs and debugged a large number of codes for a long time in the laboratory. I checked a great deal of documents and reviewed calculations to improve the flight algorithm. I was really proud when the aerocraft adopted the improved algorithm and successfully took off. From this research experience I felt that a basic knowledge of programming is just the first step in becoming an excellent developer. Only an in-depth understanding of computer science and mathematics can help me to be more competitive in this field. I should gain more professional expertise and have more opportunities to exercise my knowledge in a higher stage.
BBB offers a great computer science program. This higher level of education is necessary for me to pursue my career goals in this field. I am keen to train myself to be a more innovative thinker rather than a simple coder by learning more detailed knowledge, and my strong mathematics foundation is beneficial for me to learn and understand detailed knowledge efficiently and quickly. I am looking forward to more hands-on experiences to apply theoretical knowledge into practice and alumni have shared with me that there are abundant opportunities to internship in BBB. After graduation, I hope to contribute to the research and development of high-tech products and services that could improve people's quality of life. Living and studying in CCC is also a precious experience for me to enrich my life. I'm entirely convinced that studying at Delft will be a huge stepping stone towards success in my career, and I hope that I can positively influence BBB as it influences me.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,430 4691
Zeke, this sounds more like a personal statement than a motivation letter. A motivation letter should contain just that, the motivation for your interest in attending this internship program. Rather than telling your academic story from the very beginning, you should be focused on showing the current status of your interest in the field. Normally, the motivation part comes from your desire to not only learn about new information or techniques through the program, it also comes from your desire to further your own research interests in the field. Portray a concentration or a field of study that you hope to delve into while a student in the program. Make sure to connect this interest to your previous major as an Information Engineer as I am sure you can do. The motivation should come from combining those two interests into one result or pursuit on your end.
The motivation letter need not delve on the history of your academics. Keep the information current and relevant only to the necessary skills or academic completion that will help you attain your goals while pursuing this masters course. It would help if you could refer to your career progression as part of your motivation. That way you can present a short term and mid term career goal for yourself as part of your motivation to attend the program.
A number of revisions are in the works for you with regards to this essay. You will need to make those adjustments in order to ensure that you better respond to the prompt requirements. Good luck with your revisions. I am here to help you any time you need me to.
Thank you very much. The reason why I choose that beginning is that I want to show my interests in Computer Science from the beginning.I'll revise my letter according to your good advice and then I'll post here.Thank again, Holt!