Kindly help with provinding feedback on essay. Mentioned below is SOP requirement of University
Statement of purpose that should include career goals and expected outcomes and benefits from the program
Intelligence is the ability to adapt to Change.
- Stephen Hawking
Change is the one constant in life. Be it the changing seasons, moving from college to job, new projects at work or even growing old. Any change in external environment brings forth new prospects and potentials with it. One such field which has tremendously transformed the technology world and my own as well is Cyber Security.
Always having been an inquisitive child from start, I loved reading mystery novels for hours in the library with Agatha Christie,Dan Brown being one of my favorite authors. Little did I know then, that this curious nature of mine is going to lead me towards an exciting career in cyber threat detection. I advanced into Cyber Security through my current role as a regional account manager for a young, cutting edge cyber security organization called Darktrace. My work comprises constant interaction on a daily basis with security experts, chief information security officers and higher management of top enterprises. The more I have conversed with them, the more I have realized that the future cannot be built by technology creators alone. With digitization of the human world and the evolving threat landscape it necessitates equivalent advancements in the arena of cyber security to ensure that our data remains secure and risk manageable.
Introduced to computers at a very young age, I knew that areas requiring a logical and analytical approach was what I was passionate about. My nature to experiment and hunger to know what involves designing, developing and securing technology drove me towards one of the most coveted undergraduate program in Computer Science Engineering at Jaypee Institute of Information Technology, the best of such institutions in this field. During my undergraduate study; I acquired an excellent knowledge of programming languages like C, C++, Java, Python and script languages such as Pearl and Shell. I also found penchant for Computer Networks, Data Structures, Artificial Intelligence, NPL, Microprocessors and this has helped me build fundamentally strong concepts on computing and information management.
Last five years have been an enriching experience for me; as I have learnt both technical and business side of an organizations functioning. My experience as programmer at Accenture, where I was working on a marketing analytics project, exposed me to artificial intelligence and powerful statistical engines like SAS and Lindo. I learnt the effectiveness of using precise econometric modeling and marketing data to take informed decisions and reduce the risk element. To gain more comprehensive understanding of different aspects of business, I pursued post graduate diploma in management from Indian Institute of Management Rohtak. I can proudly say, the two years of graduate experience has helped me build strong business fundamentals and augmented my presentation and communication skills immensely. One of the subject which registered a significant impact on my mind while I was in college was business risk management. It helped me learn the best practices of taking a risk intelligent approach to manage financial, technology and business risks and I applied the learnings in my class project undertaking. A hands on market research with an online survey of 50 enterprises around Delhi revealed that top executives consider Cyber threats among the three topmost risk issues seriously impacting their organization.
My current role as an account manager at Darktrace encompasses building the customer base for the young Cambridge originated organization in India. Through this role I was exposed to the reality that cyber threat has a direct impact on business practices. Safeguarding intellectual property, financial information and company's reputation is a crucial part of business strategy. Yet with the threats becoming more and more stealthy and sophisticated it's a formidable challenge for Security experts to possess an effective information security strategy and have it proactively implemented.
Thus emanates my goal to become an Enterprise Risk Manager as it will give me an excellent opportunity to exercise my managerial skills in partnership with the technical expertise to improve an organization's management and strategic use of resources and manage risk. In order to achieve this goal, it is imperative that I equip myself with core knowledge of best practices on cyber systems security and strategies to mitigate information security risk.
I believe that a Masters in Information Assurance and Cyber Security at Northeastern University's College and Information Science will precisely help me in achieving my objective stated above, as I will be able to build and strengthen my technical skills in managing information security risks. In order to gain real world experience on how cyber security technology is applied, the co-op opportunity at Northeastern University is an excellent experiential learning mechanism which I would like to pursue. Therefore, this program will equip me with an ability to develop innovative solutions on managing risk, exposure on cutting edge cyber security technology and prepare me for a successful professional career ahead in the industry. Both, my academic and relevant professional experience will be a perfect blend and asset for this course. I intend to bring to your institution my experience of working with a young innovative cyber security company and my knowledge on artificial intelligence and machine learning threat detection approach which is emerging as a new trend in the industry.
I look forward to receive an opportunity to pursue this specialized master's course at your esteemed institution. This program with its highly qualified faculty, research facility and computing resources will assist me with applying my knowledge and skills and help build a formidable career in cyber security. I hope to receive a confirmation of your offer for admission and build a rewarding relationship with Northeastern University.Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,835 
4783 Nishtha, your statement of purpose requires content editing. The first half that you developed does not directly relate to your purpose. It is a backgrounder that would be more relevant in a college application essay instead of a masters degree essay. If you wish to create a more eye catching and impressive sounding essay, you must immediately inform the reviewer about the purpose of your essay. Therefore, the second paragraph should be the opening statement which ends, with the presentation of the idea that you wish to become an Enterprise Risk Manager.
The paragraph after that, should contain an immediate reference to your relevant professional background and work experience ending with a summary of your relevant college education. There is no need to go deep into your childhood interest in computers and languages if these do not directly relate to your desired career position or progress. Keep in mind that your computer experience should not overwhelm the reviewer. So just present the relevant computer knowledge and training that you have. The essay should have only one purpose in mind and that is to convince the reviewer that you have the background, fundamental training, and keen interest in becoming an Enterprise Risk Manager.
For more specific assistance in revising your essay, I suggest that you reformat the paper by building up paragraphs. 3-8 instead. Upon closer review, I find that the information in these paragraphs, if revised properly, will effectively present a direct to the point statement of purpose that will hold the reviewers interest and also depict you at your strongest points in relation to your interest in Enterprise Risk Management. Try to tighten the content to shed light mostly on the development of your interest and how your plans for your future in this line of work require the training that you can only get at Northeastern. For a more compelling argument, explain the programs, classes, notable professors, or research programs offered by the university will give you an edge over other masters degree graduates of this course.
The essay has the potential to be strong and notable. The problem, are the word fillers and trivial information that is presented such as the quote, your introductory paragraph, and your interest in mystery novels. Those are just causing a lack of focus in the paper which can distract the reviewer to the point where he may not think your application has substance. So it would be best to omit those in your presentation.
A statement of purpose can actually be written in 5 informative paragraphs. I am hoping that by revising the content of your essay, we will be able to make it a short, concise, informative, and impressive essay for the benefit of your application.
