"a daughter of a Civil Engineer" - Help with SOP Introduction

Hello everyone,

I have been asked to submit an SOP to the grad school.I have read it everywhere that the introductory passage of your essay should be catchy enough to capture the readers interest from the very first moment. I am not sure how it has turned out but this is what i have written so far.I just hope my sop does not make me sound too dramatic.

Please take a look at this and let me know how it is.and as English is not my 1st language please check for the grammatical errors too.

Thanks and here it goes:-S!!

Being a daughter of a Civil Engineer, who has been in this profession for the last 33 years, exposure to civil engineering has always been available to me since my very childhood. For me, it was really amazing to know, how nearly every aspect of our everyday life is one way or another, associated with the use of facilities built and maintained by civil engineers, be it the roads we travel on, or the buildings we live in or the fresh drinking water that quenches our thirst! Therefore, after going through a rigorous screening process--when I earned an opportunity to pursue my Bachelors of Science in Engineering--at the unanimously crowned best institution of my country XX, I look no further and chose civil engineering as my major. And now after completing my Bachelors successfully, I am writing this essay to put forward my aspiration to pursue my career through Masters (Thesis based) in Civil engineering with a concentration in Structural & Materials Engineering at your esteemed university, X University.

As the daughter of a Civil Engineer, I have been exposed to (list specific things) since my very childhood.

I think you should not tell that he is 33 years in the profession until later in the essay... too much info for that first sentence.

For me, it was really amazing to know, how reflect on the fact that nearly every aspect of our everyday life is one way or another associated with the use of facilities built and maintained by civil engineers -- be they the roads we travel on, or the buildings we live in, or the fresh drinking water that quenches our thirst!

That is my idea for it...