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I need to differentiate myself; PFA of SOP draft for MS applications



LodhaAkshay 1 / 2  
Dec 9, 2013   #1
Statement of Purpose
To be a part of the rapidly changing technology landscape one has to keep up with the trends; and like most fields Computer Science is no exception. Along the same lines, in order to enhance my career growth in the software field, I need to differentiate myself from competition and one feel that getting a MS in the Computer Science from a reputed university in USA can definitely give me the differentiation and edge. I feel this will equip me with the tools to achieve my professional goal in life which is to work in innovative and challenging environment where I can design, co-ordinate and build creative solutions to complex problems.

I will be completing two years in Accenture, working as a Senior Programmer. I am excited to use the experience I have gained in the workspace and build on with the knowledge I will gain from higher education to meet my career objectives. My passion in the technology field has been fueled by the fact that my brother is also from the same field and having seen him engrossed in programming complex solutions has given me great motivation to pursue this career. I have seen the value of the higher studies in the US with a reputed university up close and personal, with my uncle who has been able to achieve his career goals after having completed his MS/PhD at a US university. So following this footstep I aspire to go a step further and produce successful milestones in my career.

During my final year project of my engineering curriculum I was fortunate to work on Aadhaar Card Enabled Mobile Health Application Applications similar on the guidelines of Social Security Number prevailing in USA that was my beginning into the foray of IT world. Although the basic idea of the project rooted from the TCS, but the complete responsibility of its development was onto us. The guidance for project used to happen through mails and after each milestone the progress was authorized with meetings even involving at times Senior Scientist at TCS. This sort of process and development was new to us and raising query or doubts to the leads at TCS has to very specific and precise forecasting our groundwork where factual questions where not entertain. Although the end result of the project does not exactly match to the one with what we aim in the start, the process acquainted us with thought process development, deadline management and extensive research ability.

After graduating with 65.40% from University of Pune I was fortunate enough to get chance to work in cutting-edge technology in project, knowledge of pension domain at OPERS (Ohio Public Employees Retirement System) in Accenture which added further importance to my growing knowledge. My role was of developing web panels and triaging and coordinating with appropriate team to ensure the defect is resolved. OPERS overall Architecture was complex which involved multi-technological environment; the stack was new in the case where only approach was Test driven. The deadline was critical where the team worked for 11 hours / day on an average which includes weekends work which last for 4 months. It involved us to work on complex security framework which handles each form elements conforming to a complex matrix of business rules. Deadline pressure was hard where the frequent service failure and environment issue was by passed with the concept of mocking so we could hit mock object and continue the work. Working in such bottom stuck projects you never realized its importance during that phase but certainly it is beneficial and helps you build for the future cultivating never dying mindset in you. All the combined effort led to the ultimate success of the project going for live in mid September 2013.Although I am enjoying the moment but certainly not satisfied with the routine procedures under the direction of others.

OPERS' main target was to show all the personal, account information to the user within 10 sec supporting 500 users who will simultaneously log in the system. Roadblocks involve to achieve this were not certainly easy. This high level information was not transparent directly which I received when I used to read blogs of the senior leadership and there it made me to feel to need of adequate knowledge and reading which will lead to get into research or to technical architect field. So getting into your university will certainly make me a step closer in pursuing my goals.

Additionally, during my tenure in Engineering at Pune University I actively participated; arranged paper presentation and project competition. I was the Winner of the Intradepartmental Seminar Competition in Mobile Computing for the topic "Framework for Transaction Management in Mobile Computing". The Final year project "Aadhaar enable mobile health application (AMoHA)" was presented at International conference in ICMETSS and in National Level Project competition held at SAE. Besides Academics, I was the part of the cricket team at my colleges and at the Inter project competitions at Accenture. Although it is fun to play sports, but it inherently keeps you healthy and built you in learning to face crucial situation. The experience through this will act as supplement and will benefit during my graduation.

I am eagerly looking forward to the time at your university which will be altogether different experience and learning for me. I also understand the path towards my goals will be surrounded by many challenges and will demand lot of efforts and sacrifice. I am confident that from all perspective I will do justice to it. I sincerely hope that my application at your university is considered from all probability and I would be extremely satisfied if you considered me for financial aid.

coolintake 2 / 8  
Dec 10, 2013   #2
good examples, my $0.02:

1) Don't dwell into too many details about the intricacies of the job, so the story remains fresh and easy to follow
2) Be more detailed/specific in this statement: "goal in life which is to work in innovative and challenging environment (what type environment? industry, sector...etc) where I can design, co-ordinate and build creative solutions to complex problems (what kind of problems?)."

I believe capturing #2 will help the commity know where you're coming from and understand your purpose
OP LodhaAkshay 1 / 2  
Dec 10, 2013   #3
Thanks a lot.Please can additionally comment about.
1.Length
grammatical mistake
3.Content to add modify/edit
4.Should I include technical stuff or mention about college subjects.I already included it in resume
coolintake 2 / 8  
Dec 10, 2013   #4
with regards to length, it depends on the applications requirement. Generally speaking less is more (I would try to keep it in the 500-700 word)

2- grammar is not my forte but so far it looks okay to me
3 & 4- like I said earlier, some tweaking could add value. Less technical details (which you can indulge on in your resume) and more focus on the big picture: the Why?What? and How of your interest and program fit
dumi 1 / 6793  
Dec 12, 2013   #5
Well.... I don't find many important features that a SOP is generally expected to carry in this one. You don't talk about how your passion for this field developed, I mean adequately. SOP is the best document that you can let those admission guys know you as a person. It should not sound like a list of your achievements or experience. You can talk about them there, no issue. But the priority should be given to have yourself in the centere. Tell them about your interest in the field, how keenly you pursued them and what your future goals and how this program would help you achieve them.


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