My personal statement for MBA. Please critique. Thanks
I was fifteen when I first used a Computer. It was the most fascinating electronic device I had ever seen. My dad owned a typewriter and spent most part of his evenings on it, I would see him get frustrated whenever he made a mistake and had to retype a document. Then, In 2005 I was given a computer as a birthday gift. I was amazed at its ability to perform the functions of a typewriter without the hiccups associated with it. As I explored the computer system more, I discovered its capacity to solve problems. At that instance, I made it my life mission to produce computer tools that would make life easier for people.
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Garrick, when you apply for a masters degree, it is important that you concentrate solely on the discussion of your current abilities, immediate and recent training experiences, as well as a simple discussion of your college background and the reasons that you feel you need to undertake higher studies in this field of interest. I can see from your narrative that you have ample current computer experience to not warrant a discussion that goes all the way back to the time you were fifteen and the first time that you used a computer. Don't even discuss the time you spend working at the start up. As you are currently working in a related position, I believe that your essay will benefit from a discussion of your current work position and how your chosen masters course will help you benefit from that exposure. Normally, a person looking towards a masters degree has at least a years worth of professional work experience in a related field. From what I have read, you have more than that years of experience under your belt. What is impressive is that you amassed the related knowledge while still being a student. So you definitely have a notable application here. You just need to shorten it and focus on your most recent experience as relevant to your masters degree. Don't forget to offer a paragraph relating to your short and long term goals upon completing your masters degree and explain how the university can be of assistance to you in this quest.
Thank you vangiespen, you are absolutely right. There is no point writing what is already included in my CV. I have revised the essay, what do you think of it? Thank you for your time and assistance.
Thank you vangiespen, you are absolutely right. There is no point writing what is already included in my CV. I have revised the essay, what do you think of it? Thank you for your time and assistance. Please read this instead
Right from my childhood, I have always considered myself to be a goal oriented individual with creative and enthusiastic methods to problem solving. I was born into a difficult family environment and had to depend on these qualities to overcome social and educational. I also learnt early on, the influence of choices on goals and vice versa. I watched my uncle try to break out of the family cycle. I would see him suffer through his several endeavors and whenever I asked him why he kept on pushing, we would say there are only two clear choices in life (1) to back out of goal-plans and stay in the comfort zone of being "reasonable" or (2) to take it on as a challenge, solve it and seize the opportunity to be in charge of destiny. It is these qualities and philosophy that has taken me from being a child with no prospect to being one of the youngest successful technology strategists in Nigeria.
My interest in strategy dates back to my school days. During secondary school, I was fascinated with the computer and its capacity to solve everyday problem. I spent several hours daily pondering upon how technology tools could be effectively used to solve problems around me. Hacking tools to provide functionality beyond manufacturer's intent soon became a hobby and then a life goal. Like every goal I have, I make a mental note of what is required; skills and the knowledge needed to accomplish it and then tackle each aspect one step at a time.
In the last six years I have made tremendous strides in accomplishing my goal. I have progressed, with great effort, in the technology field. I started my career at seventeen, as a freelance programmer. Knowing I had little or no chance at a credible job due to my age and inexperience, I spent the next two years establishing a presence within the technology field. I volunteered technology services to several non-profits. Working for non-profits turned out to be more beneficial than I had hoped for. Limited funds and workforce at several non-profit organizations meant that I had take on roles such as strategy definition and analysis, which were beyond my primary scope. Over time I began to recognize that these non-technical disciplines both appealed to my interests and engaged a variety of my strengths, from interpersonal skills to problem-solving capabilities.
My experience opened the door to many Job opportunities. During the following years I moved on to the private sector, working as a project manager and business strategist for an advisory firm. My role as a business strategist and project manager saw me work across different environment; government and private. My most influential experience was redefining the pension distribution process for a regional government in Nigeria. Dealing with the Nigerian government opened my eyes to a totally different perspective of business. Businesses seek maximum efficiency; governments seek sufficient efficiency. I was initially overwhelmed at the potential for failure due to my inexperience in government process but I quickly overcome that and went on to build a successful project with the support of a diverse an experience team of strategist.
I could be considered successful by a lot of my peers but I'm still far from my ultimate goal, which is to be the founder of a disruptive technology company by the age of 30. I am yet again faced with a life changing decision to either stay in the comfort zone of my perceived success or take on my ultimate challenge. I have chosen the latter.
However, despite my experience, I still lack some important entrepreneur virtue and knowledge required to take the next step in my career. These virtues; managerial development and problem finding are represented in the bedrock of Southampton's MBA program. My desire to internalize these qualities is the catalyst that drives me to pursue a Southampton's MBA with such conviction.
I also want the journey; I want to see the world of business from an European perspective; I want to engage in intellectual discussions with exceptional peers from different backgrounds all bringing their own values and approaches to business situations; I want to share my experiences and get to learn from the experience of others. I want to build the next layer upon my foundation.