Hi there. I'm a newbie here and really need help with my personal response to these question for medical school. I'm applying to University of Chicago. I'm just wondering if anyone with kind heart would please help me check for grammar error on these two questions. I also decided to alter my alma mater name with "Name" because I don't want to be judge by it. I really appreciate your help. Thanks.
Here is the questions.
3A. At the University of Chicago Pritzker School of Medicine, we strive to identify students who will be a great "fit" with our medical school. Our Mission Statement is an expression of our core purpose and educational philosophy. Please reflect on its content and write an essay describing why you see yourself as a great "fit" for Pritzker. Please include examples of past service, community, clinical, educational, and research experiences. Please also discuss your future goals.
"At the University of Chicago, in an atmosphere of interdisciplinary scholarship and discovery, the Pritzker School of Medicine is dedicated to inspiring diverse students of exceptional promise to become leaders and innovators in science and medicine for the betterment of humanity."
Answer:
With emerging globalization of healthcare, there will be more patients, hospital workers, and doctors represented by a number of ethnicities. Awareness of other cultures would be a great asset for future doctors and leaders in order to make healthcare more comfortable and approachable. Though being a minority myself, I joined numerous cultural programs both at school and over the summer. Some of these programs include Student Program in International Cultural Exchange (SPICE), Student Educational Enrichment Program (SEEP), and Multicultural Outreach and Resources at Name (MORN). I had an opportunity to volunteer in a patient transport unit and homeless clinic. I also shadowed and developed a great friendship with an African American neurosurgeon for two summers. It has been an eye-opening experience and a great privilege for me to work with these incredibly diverse groups of people. I believe these friendships prepare me to "fit" in with any individual, group, and organization in any clinical or cultural setting.
Besides gaining a well-rounded global perspective, I learned the importance of leadership while serving as the president of AAA club, a public chair of Residence Hall Association, and the chief illustrator of science magazine, Hybrid Vigor. I understood the importance of being a good listener and open-minded as I often discussed my data and ideas with colleagues in a number of extracurricular activities and research projects, some of which even took a whole year to finish. I also trained to be organized and problem-solving oriented as I learned from my mistakes whenever my experiments did not work correctly.
Other than exercising my leadership skills, I am constantly challenging myself academically. In High school, I struggled to write even a simple essay in English, but I took Spanish and, later, Latin. I received a top award in both. I can honestly say that Latin significantly improved my learning ability and understanding of English. Once in college, my confidence motivated me to take Latin courses as my foreign language, and upper level English and Neuroscience courses.
Ultimately, I believe these strengths in social and academic skills, combined with varied research in both biomedical and clinical experiences, prepare me to be a future leader and innovator in Neuroscience and to make a strong and immediate impact as a medical student at the University of Chicago.
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3B. Tell us about a difficult or challenging situation that you have encountered and how you dealt with it. In your response, identify both the coping skills that you called upon to resolve the dilemma, and the support person(s) from whom you sought advice.
Answer:
Being the most educated in the family, I have responsibilities to my parents to fulfill. Besides the chores, I am responsible for translating documents ranging from simple advertising brochures to family healthcare and car insurance to my parents. When we still have our family restaurant, I often sacrifice study time to help out during and after the business hour. Even after our restaurant closed down in 2003, my parents struggled to find a new job and did not receive worker compensation or any of the government assistant programs. I remembered filed FAFSA with my parents' 2004 income of $27,152 dollars. Living in constant stressful situation, I understand the feeling of stress, especially when studying in such a competitive environment as Name's. It was difficult balancing responsibilities from home, trying to do well in classes, and maintaining the high expectation in both extracurricular and research projects. Even with all these stress, I did not take an easy way out. After fulfilled the requirement for my bachelor degree, I still chose to challenge myself further by taking additional advance courses in neuroscience and even took a graduate class in healthcare policy, all of which while having a regular part-time job.
Eventually, I reached the stage of exhaustion physically and emotionally when my grandmother passed away. Believing in Buddhism, I turned to my mother and Buddhist monks for guidance. I learned to cope with stress using Buddhism philosophy. Unlike Western perspective of stress as a qualitative substance that could be bottled up. The monk, rather, taught me to see stress as simply a part of life. I learned to adjust the perception of stress and emotion reaction to situation. With this new coping skill, I managed to regain control of my grade and personal responsibilities. Ultimately, I believe these experiences prepared me to meet the high expectation and vigorous curriculum in a prestigious medical school such as the University of Chicago.
Both of these essays are very strong in content. I invite everyone to help you fix up the grammar.
I notice that you sometimes slip out of past tense when writing of the past. For example:
When we still have our family restaurant, I often sacrifice study time to help out during and after the business hour.
should be
When we still had our family restaurant, I often sacrificed study time to help out during and after the business hours .
Also, this:
Unlike Western perspective of stress as a qualitative substance that could be bottled up.
is a sentence fragment.
