"My Great ambition" - admission of Fulbright ( journalism and communication)

My Great ambition One of my great ambition from childhood was to become an educated and to continue my educations to the highest levels , how to find a way for it was all the thing I was thinking about, the field for which my family encouraged me was journalism which was very interesting for me .Journalism is one of modern science that in present era or in democracy age plays an important role in the society ,and is one of those branches of science that everyone is familiar with and this profession requires those people that have strong communication skills .Fortunately in recent years we can see a salient growth in communication and media field in Afghanistan, but for development and growth of media in positive way , we need to have specialized persons, because we can also experience unspecialized Media in Afghanistan too, that operating without thinking about negative effects of their products they print or broadcasts. Based on needs of our society for professionals, I have decided to pursue my higher education in outside of Afghanistan to change the present situation of media from amateur to specialized media, and to continue serving my people and country through journalism field. Although ,I have got my Bachelor degree from journalism faculty of Kabul university and beside that I have got experience in print and electronic media ,but to act more specialized in the society ,I need to continue my higher education to get my master's degree or higher in journalism and communication field. For the first time when I knew about Fulbright, my studies at the university were in progress, and I hoped that I could join this program to continue my studies after graduation from Kabul University. Fortunately after my graduation from Kabul University with high marks, I got the chance to be one of the Fulbright foreign students Applicant. I hope that I achieve my objectives and goals through Fulbright program for serving better my people.

The first time I've heard about the Fulbright scholarship was when I was doing undergraduate degree. Since then, I've been hoping that I could join this program to continue my studies from Kabul University. Fortunately, I graduate from Kabul University with high marks (it would be great if you could use actual numbers or list the merits you've been awarded). I hope that I can achieve my objectives and goals through the Fulbright program - to be able to serve my people better.

It'd be great if you could provide us with the objectives or the question of the essay so that we could help you out more.

Sorry if I sounded arrogant. That's just the way I write in english, english is not my native language.

Well, my opinion is that you need to rewrite your essay. Not content wise. The vision and purpose is great. The problem is that, well, you're applying for graduate studies in Journalism. Journalism, well, demands an almost perfect grasp of english, if not perfect. Not to say that yours is poor. I've found lots of errors in your essay and my english level is nowhere near those of journalists.

But my hearts out to you for wanting to help your country. All the best.

thanks alot ,but you know that we are postwar country and remained behind .
but i need help to be ready ,please give feed back thanks.

Ken, you are a hero!

Hi Matiullah, these are great corrections. Do you understand what he meant about "education" without the s? Do not write educations

So, it will begin like this, according to those corrections:
One of my great ambitions from childhood was to become an educated and to continue my educations education to the highest level.

And here is some more correction:
Finding a way for it to happen was all I was thinking about. The field for which my family encouraged me toward was journalism, which was very interesting for me.

Try to type it with the correct grammar based on those corrections above. If you still have errors, we'll find them.

:-)

thanks alot! i think one day i well became what i want with your hep.