Hey I'm the phD applicant, I want to get some suggestions about my SOP

The application deadline is in 15th DEC, I really need prompt advises, thanks very much
From UCLA website: STATEMENT OF PURPOSE
1. (1) Please state your purpose in applying for graduate study. (2) Describe your scholarly and research area(s) of interest, (3) experiences that contributed for your preparation in the field, and (4) your plans for your future occupation or profession. (5) Briefly describe experiences that have prepared you for advanced study or research, and (6) provide any additional information that may aid the selection committee in evaluating your preparation and aptitude for graduate study at UCLA. (7) If you are applying for a research masters or doctoral program, you are encouraged to indicate specific research interests and potential faculty mentors.

SOP
On August 6, 2012, an AI machine "Curiosity" launched by NASA's Mars Science Laboratory landed on Mars. It is multi-functions and was built elaborately with varieties of high-tech materials which inspired me to explore new materials for advanced research in the future. "Don't aim for success if you want it, just do what you love and believe in, and it will come naturally." - British journalist David Frost. This belief holds firmly in my mind and I have determined to devote my future into Material science research.

The two years in graduate school equipped me with abilities to launch research forward individually and collaboratively, and I already knew exactly what my goal is. The most important of all, despite of the lack of equipments necessary for my research in the laboratory, I found a way to obtain the resources. I found ways to get additional helps from professors from another laboratory in another program, who I established personal relationship during competitions of tennis exercises!

My project research in college is colloidal hard carbon spherule by hydrothermal process of sugar. In the past literature, it can be made by heating up in elevated temperature in oxygen-isolated environment. The drawbacks are low-efficient, hard to attain uniform particle size. In this study, we set to efficiently fabricate controlled size (<60nm) and well-dispersed carbon spherule through different seeds addition. I had learned a lot of experiences about nanofabrication process from this study, and I hope I can learn more about it in your doctoral program. Therefore, I hope to join Professors Yong-Chen's or Richard B Kaner's groups for further research.

As a co-author of paper ECS in my graduation school, our research team published "HF/H2O2 Etching for Removal of Damage Layer on As-Transferred Si Layer Formed by Ion-Cut Process" Electrochemical and Solid-State Letters, 13 (7) H227-H229 (2010)

. The damage was removed by CMP traditionally which is difficult to thin the surface of wafer with uniform thickness. In this research, a polishing-free method for removing the spongy damage layer from as-split transferred layer fabrication by ion-cut process is achieved when added with HF/H2O2 mixture solution as the etchant which is eco-friendly and relatively efficient method. This publication experience gaineded me much more confidence and interest to the research of chemical process applied into varieties of materials.

In my thesis work, the effort had been made to bond wafer pairs coated with (Cu/Ni) thin film which expected to be applied into microelectronic device. In the past studies, Cu-Ni thin film pairs were through diffusion bonding in high temperature (around 800~950℃) in a highly vacuum condition or plasma striking, but the main problems are thermal stress and lattice mismatch that causes the cracking of bonding interface. I successfully bonded the pairs by addition of dilute hydrochloric acid at the interface in relatively much lower temperature (200℃) and it can be massively produced without the use of bonder. Moreover, I constructed a reasonable reaction mechanism about the phenomenon appeared in the experiments based on many relevant studies and the assumption could almost perfectly indicate why this method works in a specific condition. This experience bolstered my confidence in further advanced research and I hope to join Yang-yang's group for relevant research.

Now I work in a semiconductor company as a process engineer, I am responsible for setting up the process parameters and circuit design for wire bonding in chips, it is full of challenges since the process engineer have to fulfill the need of various customers. I feel happy to learn some practical experience in the industry. Besides this work, I am growing interest in the research of chemical fabrication process , What fascinates me the most in doing research is to explore something unknown and try to discover the possible answers and meanings behind them. I hope to create new chemical manufacturing processes which can be applied into varieties of materials in my future work.

On the extracurricular part, I had achieved some outstanding performances in tennis competitions, I have a gold medal of tennis single in college. This athletic experience, in fact, endowed me with the spirit of incessant perseverance; besides, making strategic adjustments was also necessary. This incessant spirits played an important role while I almost lost my confidence in academic performance and the even better academic performance can be shown in my graduate school.