Please help to check my LOR. Honestly, I wrote it by myself because my professor was so busy and he asked me to write my own based on some notes that he drafted. Sorry for the grammar, i'm not quite good at this. Thanks in advance
To whom it may concern,
As Vice-Principal of School of Business and Administration (SEBA) of Can Tho University, I am delighted to recommend you ABC- one of my excellent students for your scholarship grant. I have been known Vy since she was in the first year when she came for my counselor regarding her assignment and I was invited to be the judge in one of the academic contest she attended called Wilmar Agro Award.
Compared with more than one thousand students of her course, Vy is one of the most accomplished students with the outstanding achievements that can be proved quantitatively. Her record can be tracked from her very first year in the university when she passed the English entrance test at the first rank at SEBA followed by many academic achievements which most of them were first or second prize of big contests, including one second prize in Dynamic- a national contest for business and economics students. However, it is her attitude towards learning as well as her great effort on research that impressed me the most.
During her final semester, as her counselor I am impressed by her choice to work full-time instead of an internship at a company which was three hours far from our school to take a deep research on her final assignment while maintaining herself in the top students both in academic record and extracurricular activities in the university. Regardless the fact that most of students in her class used only secondary data on the final assignment, Vy was willing to conduct a research using primary data analysing and she has shown excellent analytical skills and intellectual creativity. With that experience, I can confidently assert that her qualities make her an outstanding candidate with a strong potential for research.
As far as I know, she has always had an enormous desire on seeking for higher education in economics since she was in second year. Therefore, I enthusiastically recommend her for your institution admission and scholarships grant without hesitation.
Should there be any inquiries, please feel free to contact me.
Very truly yours,
To whom it may concern,This is too vague. Recommendation: "Dear Selection Committee for the X Scholarship at Y:" Greetings for professional letters end with a colon (:) not a comma (,).
As Vice-Principal of School of Business and Administration (SEBA) of Can Tho University, I am delighted to recommend you ABC- one of my excellent students for your scholarship grant.Recommendation: "My name is Dr./Professor XYZ, and I am the Vice Principal at the School of Business and Administration (SEBA) at Can Tho University. I am delighted to write this letter on behalf of ABC. I have known ABC since...
I have been known Vy since she was in the first year when she came for my counselor regarding her assignment and I was invited to be the judge in one of the academic contest she attended called Wilmar Agro Award. This is vaue. I am not clear on exactly how your professor/counselor knew you. You came to him/her for counseling? Was he/she a professor for a course? Please be explicit about your relationship w/ him/her.
Compared with more than one thousand students of her course, Vy is one of the most accomplished students with the outstanding achievements that can be proved quantitatively. Her record can be tracked from her very first year in the university when she passed the English entrance test at the first rank at SEBA followed by many academic achievements which most of them were first or second prize of big contests, including one second prize in Dynamic- a national contest for business and economics students. Again, vague and wordy. It is difficult to follow. Write short sentences - to the point and clear. You ranked first in an English entrance exam!!! This is a significant achievement, but it is sort of lost in the fray because the sentence structure is hard to follow. Recommendation: "ABC is an accomplished student, and I write this letter with highest regards. ABC ranked first in the English entrance examination at SEBA. This is an exceptional achievement given the more than one thousand students who took the exam. In addition, she ranked 2nd in Dynamic, a national context for business and economic students." Something to that effect. Also, these are great achievements. However, one issue I have is that it does not show the direct work you had with the professor/counselor who is writing this letter. It must be first clearly established that the person writing this letter worked and interacted with you enough for the scholarship committee to confidently say that the professor/counselor is the right person to say things about you. My recommendation is to start with your direct work with the professor/counselor. For instance, the paragraph below should probably start first - and then, your awards.
However, it is her attitude towards learning as well as her great effort on research that impressed me the most.Flowery, unnecessary.
During her final semester, as her counselor I am impressed by her choice to work full-time instead of an internship at a company which was three hours far from our school to take a deep research on her final assignment while maintaining herself in the top students both in academic record and extracurricular activities in the university. Again, this is vague only because I do not know exactly what the role of your counselor/professor was. Did he/she teach you? Was he/she your thesis advisor? This is important to clarify. Regardless the fact that most of students in her class used only secondary data on the final assignment, Vy was willing to conduct a research using primary data analysing and she has shown excellent analytical skills and intellectual creativity. With that experience, I can confidently assert that her qualities make her an outstanding candidate with a strong potential for research. Here is my recommendation: "In her last semester at SEBA, I had the opportunity directly supervise ABC's research. ABC secured a full-time position a X (name of company). She initiated research on..., she focused her research on... (Be specific here! What was the research? What was the outcome?) Her comfort with primary data analyses speaks to her excellent analytical skills."
I would also recommend trying to tie what the scholarship is and your abilities/experience. I am not clear on what exactly the scholarship is. What is it about you/your interests/your abilities that match or fit with the scholarship? I think this is impotent to demonstrate in the letter.
As far as I know, she has always had an enormous desire on seeking for higher education in economics since she was in second year. Therefore, I enthusiastically recommend her for your institution admission and scholarships grant without hesitation.
Should there be any inquiries, please feel free to contact me.
I would end with something like: "I recommend ABC without reservation. Please contact me if you require additional questions or would further like to discuss ABC's qualifications.
Very truly yours,This is too personal. Formal/professional letters usually end with: "Best wishes," or "Thank you." Something simple. "Very truly yours" is usually more for personal letters.
Good luck with the application!
Thank you so much for your comments , it is very helpful. Honestly, I did not expect such a huge advice at first, but wow!! :D
He is not exactly my course professor, but he did teach me several fields during my contests (since I am my school representative in those contests), but you are right, i should be more specific in that.
Well, the main reason why I did not give specific details on my thesis is that I am doing Marketing (Branding) thesis for my workplace. The outcome was still excellent but I am afraid that they will consider it irrelevant to my major at the University (foreign trade) and what I am applying for (economics) . ( I had no other choice, though, because I worked as a Marketing Executive at that time )
Thank you again for your time. This is my first time writing this, hope i can get through!!!
Dear porkbunsrule !
I am Hung . I'm from vietnam
The present , I'm working in accounting Department for indonesia Company but I always have to use English for my job , i'm very sad because my ability bad , I had have reading and writting alot but I don't improved now .
With my job , I always face to face with the documents from Customers and Suppliers written by Enlish and must to discuss about job with my boss by English , I already written wrong Grammar alot when I written email for anybody . It's difficult for I can more develop in the future and I often fell diffidence ,,
Pls reading and revision for me .
Let me know I have to make how for improved ability .
Thanks and looking feedback from you .
