A myriad of challenges faced by our environment as a result of various discoveries in science and technology calls for rapid intervention and scrupulous researches in order to avert the imminent catastrophe that could emanate from these discoveries. The discovery of oil has brought about economy boom for different countries and this has affected the world at large. Since most economies in the world are dependent on the revenues from crude oil, it becomes imperative to search for alternative sources of energy because of the looming danger of depletion of this non-renewable source of energy. Despite the benefits of oil discovery in the geopolitical, social, and economy affairs of the world, it has pose a great challenge to the sustainability of the environment most especially pollution due to the emission of carboniferous compounds and green house gases in general. Gas flaring and oil spillage also contribute to this menace. These issues made me think deeply on proffering amenable solutions. One of the major sources of green house gas emission is the combustion engines of power-plants and automobiles. I could actively research and assist in developing a combustion engine that its specific fuel consumption is so small that the amount of fuel consumed will be reduced, hence prolong the life of the reservoir, and the emissions from this engine will be as clean and safe as possible. This idea stimulates the choice to further my graduate study in the area of spark ignition and compression ignition engines an aspect of Mechanical Engineering. My desire to have my footprint in the sands of time also sparked up my ardour for this graduate study.
From my undergraduate years, I had developed great interest in Basic and Applied thermodynamics, Heat and Mass transfer, Thermal Engines, and Fluid Mechanics. I have always nurtured the ambition of specializing in one of these fields of Mechanical Engineering. My choice of career as a Mechanical Engineer specializing in the area of combustion in thermal engines with the intent of improving my economy's industrialization and hence myself, began to take form during my internship when I worked in an earth-moving vehicle (Bulldozer) firm where I understood the underlying principles of hydraulic systems, transmission units, torque converters, and the engine. Principles of thermodynamics, thermal engines, and fluid mechanic were in play here but I never really comprehended how they all had their share, this I intend to decipher and which is why I want to pursue my graduate studies. My aspiration for more knowledge soared when I got employed with Lagos State University in Nigeria, where I work in a maintenance capacity. I ensure that the power generating plants (diesel engines) are in proper working condition by running routine checks on the power plants, and carry out repairs on minor faults that spring up during operation of the power plants. Here, I developed tangible practical experience on the mechanism of combustion in diesel engines. Aside the engineering experience I acquired, both my managerial and negotiation skills have been greatly enhanced, with more capability to handle multiple task as compared to when I was running my undergraduate studies.
My extra-curricular activity in the area of project management has also exposed me to different aspects of practices such as building, welding, and other activities involved in the construction of a house. My love for chess has greatly improved my thinking capacity, strategizing and planning ahead. I have a responsibility in making the world around me a better place, hence necessitating improvement on my intelligence prowess. A graduate study in Mechanical Engineering, specializing in areas of spark-ignition and compression-ignition engines is a step towards achieving this objective.
Having gone through the information brochure, the available research areas, the University's homepage, and consulting with current graduate students of the university, I am convinced that a Graduate study at Pennsylvania State University is a seminal decision. Research areas such as; Soot particle formation and destruction in diffusion flames; Combustion and emission of spark-ignited and diesel engines; Ignition and combustion of metal particles, are alluring subject topics that suit my interest and I would be delighted if I can work with the strings of dynamic professors working on these research areas. The research facilities and laboratories in this institution will readily help with my research when I am absorbed into the institution for my graduate study. The serene and conducive environment of the university offers a relaxed mind and psychological stability for learning and research. Finally, Pennsylvania State University is highly ranked for Mechanical Engineering studies among other institutions. These among other reasons assert my choice of Pennsylvania State University as the school I seek my graduate study.
Great ideas, here, my friend...
It is impressive that you are being a bit specific about the contributions you want to make. Many candidates are not very specific at all, and they have no plan. Make a plan, and you have an advantage.
The next principle you should apply is brevity. Look at how much better this is:
A myriad of challenges faced by our environment as a result of various discoveries in science and technology calls for rapid intervention and scrupulous researches in order to avert the imminent catastrophe that could emanate from these discoveries.
Environmental challenges call for rapid intervention, and I want to be part of the scrupulous research efforts that can avert the imminent catastrophe. For example, the discovery of oil has brought about economic booms for various countries, and this has affected the world at large.
***I don't think you need to focus on the fact that "discovery" is linked to the problems. And do not state the obvious... do not talk too much about the harms of greenhouse gases, etc., because everyone already knows about the greenhouse effect.
The serene and conducive environment of the university offers a relaxed mind and psychological stability for learning and research. Finally, Pennsylvania State University is highly ranked for Mechanical Engineering studies among other institutions. I think you should not talk about the brochure, and you should not talk about the rank of the school. They know about this stuff. It is great if you talk about a book or article written by one of the professors.
Assert = saying something. In that last sentence, you should use the word affirm instead, because it fits the sentence a little better.
:-)
Great job, you are impressive!
My aspiration for more knowledge soared when I got employed with Lagos State University in Nigeria, where I work in a maintenance capacity.
I would change 'I got employed' to 'when I started empoloyment for(or when I was hired for)...'. where I currently work in a maintenance capacity. I think there are quite a few more things that can be changed around. I would get some more eyes on it before sending the final in. The content is very good, just needs some polishing. You may want to simplify some of your sentances as they sound to wordy. EF Kevin provides a great ex with the first sentance as I was thinking the same thing.
