Dear All,
I would like to seek some feedback on my 2nd graduate essay prompt regarding personal contribution/history to promote diversityin the university. Any advice would be appreciated. thank you.
In an essay, discuss how your personal background informs your decision to pursue a graduate degree. Please include any educational, familial, cultural, economic, or social experiences, challenges, or opportunities relevant to your academic journey; how your life experiences contribute to the social, intellectual, or cultural diversity within your chosen field; and/or how you might serve educationally underrepresented segments of society with your degree.
While African-American liberalism has been an elusive revolution in American history, the issues of racial equity in (country) lies within a more subtle and intricate note which evolved from the country's colonial history. Constitutions of (country) established racial quotas for government employment, federal licenses and contracts grants, and tertiary education enrolments to safeguard the special positions of the country's natives. What may not be immediately lucid is that the (races) - two significant racial minorities in (country) - were not considered as natives when the constitution was released in (year), and this remains today, at least on a legal note.
I received my 6 years of secondary education from a community based independent school. Successive government has adopted a policy of non-recognition towards the school's comparatively high academic achievements when compared to most government funded institutions for reasons beyond political, social and economical gain. I was disheartened to find that I was not qualified for local universities admission, when my certifications are deemed adequate by British system. Moreover, under the influence of a ruling government dominated by a majority race, preferential education policies such as university admission and award of scholarship or provision of education loan tilted heavily towards the majority race, depriving the minority races of equal opportunities for higher educations. Consequently, my parents decided that foreign institutions are my best options to obtain quality educations. I witnessed my parents, like every other non-native family, striving very hard their entire lives to secure funding for my tertiary education overseas.
Having been through the hardship of accessing higher education himself, my father has been an advocate of change in tertiary education policies for years and worked alongside with many organizations and politicians in lobbying for non-deprivation of opportunities for the minorities. He pools together financial resources from associates and directs them in place charity funds to help ease the burdens of those in need. This has ingrained a very deep consciousness in me from a young age, where I participated in various charity events to help raise educational funds for the less privileged. One example is when I initiated an event among fellow students to collect household recyclable materials, where (amount) was raised. Though not a significant amount, the effort was highly praised.
My experience and exposure during overseas study has helped me realize that education and wide exposure to globalization ideas are the first steps in raising awareness over the issue. I met fellow (people) who studied overseas, both natives and non-natives. Through our conversations and mingling, I find that they who ventured into foreign country, truly values racial equity and tolerance. Growing up in a country with a rich potpourri of ethnicity, I have learnt to appreciate that racial harmony requires respect, tolerance and be open mindedness in accepting any cultural differences rather than to compare them against my own values. This, enriched by my overseas endeavors, has helped broaden my perspectives of life and ability to blend well with people from a diverse background. To help ease my family's burden, I took up part time jobs to earn my own living fees, which have also enhanced my social skills.
These experiences has allowed me to recognize the difficulties that my parents have been through to send me overseas for higher education, and motivated me in pursuing the highest achievement that I am capable of. I believe that with my unique background, I will be able to share a different experience with my peers, promoting appreciation of opportunities to receive higher education besides the essential values of multiculturalism.
I would like to seek some feedback on my 2nd graduate essay prompt regarding personal contribution/history to promote diversityin the university. Any advice would be appreciated. thank you.
In an essay, discuss how your personal background informs your decision to pursue a graduate degree. Please include any educational, familial, cultural, economic, or social experiences, challenges, or opportunities relevant to your academic journey; how your life experiences contribute to the social, intellectual, or cultural diversity within your chosen field; and/or how you might serve educationally underrepresented segments of society with your degree.
While African-American liberalism has been an elusive revolution in American history, the issues of racial equity in (country) lies within a more subtle and intricate note which evolved from the country's colonial history. Constitutions of (country) established racial quotas for government employment, federal licenses and contracts grants, and tertiary education enrolments to safeguard the special positions of the country's natives. What may not be immediately lucid is that the (races) - two significant racial minorities in (country) - were not considered as natives when the constitution was released in (year), and this remains today, at least on a legal note.
I received my 6 years of secondary education from a community based independent school. Successive government has adopted a policy of non-recognition towards the school's comparatively high academic achievements when compared to most government funded institutions for reasons beyond political, social and economical gain. I was disheartened to find that I was not qualified for local universities admission, when my certifications are deemed adequate by British system. Moreover, under the influence of a ruling government dominated by a majority race, preferential education policies such as university admission and award of scholarship or provision of education loan tilted heavily towards the majority race, depriving the minority races of equal opportunities for higher educations. Consequently, my parents decided that foreign institutions are my best options to obtain quality educations. I witnessed my parents, like every other non-native family, striving very hard their entire lives to secure funding for my tertiary education overseas.
Having been through the hardship of accessing higher education himself, my father has been an advocate of change in tertiary education policies for years and worked alongside with many organizations and politicians in lobbying for non-deprivation of opportunities for the minorities. He pools together financial resources from associates and directs them in place charity funds to help ease the burdens of those in need. This has ingrained a very deep consciousness in me from a young age, where I participated in various charity events to help raise educational funds for the less privileged. One example is when I initiated an event among fellow students to collect household recyclable materials, where (amount) was raised. Though not a significant amount, the effort was highly praised.
My experience and exposure during overseas study has helped me realize that education and wide exposure to globalization ideas are the first steps in raising awareness over the issue. I met fellow (people) who studied overseas, both natives and non-natives. Through our conversations and mingling, I find that they who ventured into foreign country, truly values racial equity and tolerance. Growing up in a country with a rich potpourri of ethnicity, I have learnt to appreciate that racial harmony requires respect, tolerance and be open mindedness in accepting any cultural differences rather than to compare them against my own values. This, enriched by my overseas endeavors, has helped broaden my perspectives of life and ability to blend well with people from a diverse background. To help ease my family's burden, I took up part time jobs to earn my own living fees, which have also enhanced my social skills.
These experiences has allowed me to recognize the difficulties that my parents have been through to send me overseas for higher education, and motivated me in pursuing the highest achievement that I am capable of. I believe that with my unique background, I will be able to share a different experience with my peers, promoting appreciation of opportunities to receive higher education besides the essential values of multiculturalism.