Can you please give me a rating, on a scale of 1-10 (10 being the best)? Personally, in this intent, I'm trying to express my career purpose, my interest, highlight my work experience, and the reason I'd like to attend this university.Lmk if this is all clear or too much, please. Thanks for your time!
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Life stages are a natural part of life. Preparing for change and adapting to life stages happen everyday for the young and old. As a professional in the speech language pathology field, I am applying to your graduate school program to answer a call to help families prepare their children in these life stages such as gaining a healthy weight in feeding or getting a child prepared for an early childhood learning facility. I am motivated to help transition children for the next step of their lives. I am a great candidate for your university because of my extensive work experience, my educational background, and my determination to see a child become successful in life.
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Hanhn, there are some portions of your essay that can do with some revision or additional work. Please refer to my comments below :-)
Life stages are a natural part of life. Preparing for ...
- This introductory statement would have been more effective if you had used speech impediments as a hook. Explain your understanding of life stages in terms of speech development and how these stages are sometimes disrupted by speech problems at an early age. Then explain that these are part of the reasons why you chose to enter the world of speech pathology and why you feel that you now need a masters degree in order to deal with the more complicated cases coming your way.
I took a course called CSD 317M Communication with the Multi-Disabled
- Cut back on your trilingual experience and expand instead on the aforementioned course because it directly relates to speech pathology, shows your interest progression, and the need for your advanced studies after college.
At present, I am a speech language pathologist-assistant at Resource Therapy Center. I plan over 24 sessions with patients on a weekly basis from the Spanish-English bilingual community in Pasadena, TX in a clinical setting. My most interesting case is addressing the needs of a 3-year-old boy that had moderate to severe speech impairment, a language delay, and attention deficits. After a year of speech therapy, he is now enrolled in a preschool for two days a week. His mother reports progress that he is able to play more appropriately at home. Moreover at school, she reported that he attends to structured tasks for at least 10 minutes, and is able to follow directions with moderate cues. I believe that my professional experience in working with children played a part in improving his communication, however I know that the graduate course offerings at your university will take me to the next level in helping more children like this young boy.
- Before reporting the results, tell us how you treated this child first. What was your therapy plan? How did he respond? Then talk about how effective it was in the treatment of the child. This way we can get a grasp of your professional abilities in an active case setting.
Let's modify these portions for now and see if there will be any parts that need to be further developed in relation to the updated version :-)
I appreciate your feedback! It is very helpful. Here is my latest draft:
The milestone typically seen in normal speech development are when babies coo or babble in the first year of their lives. However, when a speech-language problem is present in a child such as playing appropriately with toys, it can disrupt them from moving smoothly into their next life stage of everyday social communication with their peers. In my job, I am committed to helping children transition into their next life stage whether learning first words or helping them to have basic functional communication with their parents. While my skills are strong, I know that there will be more complicated speech-language cases in my career. Resolving to help children and their families by being more equipped is my motivation for applying to your graduate school program.
At The University of Texas at Austin, I took a course called CSD 317M Communication with the Multi-Disabled that awakened me to disabilities related to speech and language. For one assignment, students were asked to write from the perspective of a person with a disability and how the person would feel about walking around the campus. I took the perspective of a visually impaired person and imagined the challenge of walking across the street of an intersection. I became aware of the importance of accessibility and empathized how the quality of life for a person can be so easy for me, but difficult for another person. In particular, I became interested in working with children, and helping them from the beginning of their lives for them to become successful in life no matter their disability.
At present, I am a speech language pathologist-assistant at Resource Therapy Center. I plan over 24 sessions with patients on a weekly basis from the Spanish-English bilingual community in Pasadena, TX in a clinical setting. My most interesting case is addressing the needs of a 3-year-old boy that had moderate to severe speech impairment, a language delay, and attention deficits. My treatment plan with my supervisor included play therapy, multiple cuing, and behavior shaping tactics. The child was resistant at first, but over the following months, he showed more improvement in following directions, naming body parts, and producing basic approximations. After a year of speech therapy, he is now enrolled in a preschool for two days a week. His mother reports progress that he is paying attention more in school and is more focused. I believe that my professional experience in working with children like him, however I know that the graduate course offerings at your university will take me to the next level in helping more children like this young boy.
At your university, I am interested in the feeding and swallowing courses and the early childhood development classes. These classes will help me to achieve my goal of becoming a Speech and Language Pathologist in the medical settings and in early childhood education settings. Being given this opportunity at your school will enable me to meet a profound need in preparing children for their next life stages.
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