Guidelines:
The statement should be a 500- to 750-word overview of the applicant's academic and professional accomplishments and should demonstrate a high level of interest in and a highly developed understanding of the discipline. The applicant should describe knowledge of the discipline, approach to past work, qualifications for graduate study and intended focus, as well as personal and professional goals.
Statement of Purpose
animators' goal
When it comes to potato chips, you can never have just one. I have found the same to be true for animated films. I grew up watching the masterpieces produced by Walt Disney Animation Studios, and if you ask me which is my favorite, I cannot reply with just one. Many of these films were what first inspired me to set pencil to paper, and my interest in creating art only grew from there. By the time I was applying to undergraduate programs, I had watched the familiar characters dance across the screen so many times, I knew I wanted to be one of the people to make that happen. However, I chose Painting and Drawing as my major because I wanted to set myself up for success. I knew I needed to start with the basics so I could lay a solid foundation for myself in the future. As I now prepare to graduate, I am confident I have achieved this goal.
My knowledge of two-dimensional and three-dimensional design concepts has been implemented in a variety of materials and subject matter. Life drawing and life painting classes have been some of the most beneficial experiences I have had, while sculpture and ceramics classes have taught me to consider all sides of a three-dimensional form. While this range of media comprises my portfolio, therein lies an overarching theme which ties my body of work together: emotion. I choose subject matter with sentimental value because human emotions are universally relatable regardless of age, gender, race, ethnicity, or native tongue, and I want to create an emotional experience for my audience.
I am a strong candidate for the Master of Fine Arts in animation program because I am already endeavoring to achieve the animators' goal. Initially it is the story which draws the viewer in, but it is the animation which entices them to keep watching. People look for visual cues to pick up on which emotion another person may be feeling. It is thus the animator's job to employ the correct facial expressions, postures, and body language in order to convey a specific feeling to the viewer. Otherwise the viewer will be confused about the character's response, and will be unable to form the bond which will keep them invested in the character's plight.
My objective when applying to this program is to graduate knowing I have the tools required to be successfully employed in the animation field, and the abilities needed to inspire people around the globe the way my favorite animated films continue to inspire me today.
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Along with reviewing this and giving feedback, one of my main concerns is what area could I expand upon? I am under the word count, and there may be things I could make more clear.
Thank you very much in advance!Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,835 
4783 Colinda, one of the weak points of your essay in relation to the application requirements would be the lack of presentation regarding your qualifications for graduate study. You have to understand that as a graduate student, you need to have some sort of practical and / or professional work experience in terms of applying what you have studied. This creates the foundation for your study goals or intended focus. As you are just about to graduate, I am sure that you do not have any professional work experience yet. However, I am assuming that you have some sort of training programs or on the job training / internships mandated by your university for the students of this course. It is important that you reflect that information in the essay in order to deliver the required qualifications for graduate study. Earning a masters degree is not something that is usually done right after graduating from college. However, that is fast becoming a trend these days and the reviewers usually give some leeway by accepting notable training of the applicant acquired during his internships and similar training formats.
The next weak point is with regards to the focus of your intended study. While earning a masters degree may somewhat assure you of gaining employment in the future, you cannot use that as the intended focus for your desire to gain a masters degree. The best way to represent your intended focus would be to try and explain some sort of cutting edge animation procedure that you have imagined and hope to pioneer in the future. Hopefully as a Disney Imagineer. Try to be more detailed in your response by expanding upon the missing parts that I have pointed out.
Hi Colinda, I have read your personal statement closely. I am very keen on reading this because you have felt free to tell your history. Your passion seems in this writing. Readers will know you have huge admire in this concentration. However, you need to tell more about your work experience. The job what you had conducted in a company is the strong statement which will get belief of the university. It does not matter if that is light work because the university wants to know how handle the work.
If you have rewards of some competitions, you should be included in your writing. I really believe that can impress the university. After that, you are supposed to sharpen where you wanna applicate your competence after finishing the study. It's better if you can mention a name of company where it needs your ability.
Hopefully, these can help you
GOOD LUCK
Colinda, I would like to say that your approach to sentence construction is awesome. This means that if you heed to suggestions and comments you receive from this forum, your essay will surely hit a competitive landmark. Having said that, I want to draw your attention to the prompts of your essay. I wish to break them down (paraphrased) in power point.
The statement must:
} contain an overview of applicant's academic and professional accomplishments,
} demonstrate a high level of applicant's interest in the discipline,
} show applicant's highly developed understanding of the discipline,
} illustrate applicant's knowledge of the discipline, approach to past work, qualifications for graduate study, intended focus, and
} personal and professional goals.
Frankly speaking, Colinda, the reviewer expects you to address all the points listed above within the remit of 500-750 words with specific examples where necessary. So you see, it is better to start answering to the prompt from the onset of your essay. You should do this in a clear but tactical terms. Use transition sentences to connect ideas and/or paragraphs chronologically. For instance, it would be very wrong for you to start writing about your wonderful personal and professional goals when you have said nothing about your academic background and/or professional accomplishments. As pointed out by Mary Rose, you have to describe any experience you acquired during your undergraduate program: internship, Industrial training, field experience and others. You can make a good case that would fit-in as professional accomplishment.
Overall, let your essay depict an applicant with a strong, specific, and realistic personal and professional goals.
Don't say that your goal is to create an animation that would jump out of a computer screen and begin to say 'Hi' to everyone. That would be hilarious.
I can assure you that you really have what it takes to produce an essay that will compete vigorously with others during the selection process.
I hope to see an improved draft showing all the parts pointed out here already.
