As an undergraduate student, I was offered various opportunities where I learned new strategies and sustained valuable knowledge about business development. I was an intern for [XXXXX] where I was able to gain knowledge about leadership as well as hands on experience with the coordination and planning of international programs and marketing tactics. Subsequent to my graduation from [XXXX], I was offered a job as a Management Consultant with [XXXX]; an independently owned business. There I was able to utilize the knowledge I acquired during my educational experience and use it towards carrying out research and data collection to understand the organization. While I was initially learning the new skills that I required to advance in my career, I was also looking into furthering my educational background. My short-term professional goal post-MBA is, thus, to work with a large corporation with various clienteles from small to large scale businesses. I aim to hold a position of a Management Consultant for a large firm so that I can develop my skills in strategic management, product strategies, and market advancement at a global level. I will be able to add value by bringing in practical and as yet, innovative solutions to complex business challenges. My long-term professional goal is to bring in the knowledge I learned from my career and put it towards building a platform to open a Consulting Company. Obtaining an MBA from the University of Baltimore forms a significant step towards the actualization of my growth objectives. I believe that the UB program is the best fit for me because out of the six principles that UB's MBA program is built around, 4 of them entitle management as a core concept. My passion of learning about business development comes from a childhood dream to open my own family business one day. I want to contribute to the world and be someone that can be honored not only for my professional accomplishments, but as well as my personal endeavor to help others. I hope to consult others and coach them towards the path to success as I wish to do for myself.
ESSAY FOR MBA ADDMISSION- LONG/SHORT TERM PROFES/PERSON GOALS,HOW UB HELPS, WHY MBA? 2000 CHARACTERS
Hi Marrium. Welcome to EF!
2000 characters is not a lot of room to express all of these things, and I think you've done a pretty good job here! I think you have fit everything the prompt has asked you in that short amount of space. My only critique is that it feels a bit rushed, like you're trying to get as much information as possible crammed into the limit. Maybe it's the fact that your essay is one large paragraph (instead of being broken down into two or more) or the fact that you did a lot of listing of your skills. This doesn't give the reader/ admissions committee very much insight into who you are as a person. Maybe it's because I don't know very much about business so the things you listed don't mean very much to me.
Is everything you mentioned in the subject required or asked in the instructions? If so, great, you got it all in! If not, you may want to consider removing some things. This way you can discuss the most important things in more detail and really let the admissions committee get a feel for who you are. Right now it's very "tell"ing. You don't want to just tell them what you did or what you learned; you want to show them.
Your punctuation, grammar and wording looks pretty good to me! My only advice is that I would play around with the order of your essay. See what happens when you start with your personal goals goals of contributing to the world and wanting to help others. From there, go into your undergraduate education and experience, then professional goals, then why UB. See what that looks like.
2000 characters is not a lot of room to express all of these things, and I think you've done a pretty good job here! I think you have fit everything the prompt has asked you in that short amount of space. My only critique is that it feels a bit rushed, like you're trying to get as much information as possible crammed into the limit. Maybe it's the fact that your essay is one large paragraph (instead of being broken down into two or more) or the fact that you did a lot of listing of your skills. This doesn't give the reader/ admissions committee very much insight into who you are as a person. Maybe it's because I don't know very much about business so the things you listed don't mean very much to me.
Is everything you mentioned in the subject required or asked in the instructions? If so, great, you got it all in! If not, you may want to consider removing some things. This way you can discuss the most important things in more detail and really let the admissions committee get a feel for who you are. Right now it's very "tell"ing. You don't want to just tell them what you did or what you learned; you want to show them.
Your punctuation, grammar and wording looks pretty good to me! My only advice is that I would play around with the order of your essay. See what happens when you start with your personal goals goals of contributing to the world and wanting to help others. From there, go into your undergraduate education and experience, then professional goals, then why UB. See what that looks like.
Thank you so much for your help! I will take all this into consideration.
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