In an essay of 300 words, or fewer (approximately 1950 characters with spaces),
write about your goals for your time at Queen's University and beyond. Your answer
will be evaluated for content and writing style
The time at university is arguably the most important and influential years of our lives. As I look back on my own life, I recognize the various events and mentors that have molded me into the person that I am today. I know that with the guidance of the excellent professors at Queens University, I will be able to further discover and develop both my passions and myself.
Studying at Queen's University has been a dream of mine ever since I visited Kingston three years ago. The culture at Queen's is suberbly appealing - I immediately wanted to stroll around the historical campus, or take part in a cozy Springer Square movie. I plan to take advantage of the diverse opportunities that student life has to offer - meeting likeminded people at AMS, expanding my horizons on international exchange, and joining many student clubs and associations to further my interests of photography, soccer and violin. Academically, my goal at the renowned Queen's School of Business is to earn a Bachelor of Commerce; specializing in finance, management, and international business. I intend to also continue my other passions by making use of the Arts and Science elective courses to grow as a better rounded person.
After my four years in undergraduate studies, I plan on obtaining a MBA or PhD in Management. My aspiration is to be involved in the finance or economics industry as an investment banker or portfolio manager, leading an international firm at their European headquarters. At Queen's University, I know that my education will establish a strong foundation for future success.
Any suggestions? I read on this website: youniversityhub.com/queens-commerce-how-to-get-admission/ that they're mainly looking to see if you've researched about Queen's specifically, but I'm unsure if I should include more details about myself, or where and how to add these details.
Here is also my commerce supplementary essay
the questions is: Demonstrate the research you have done to ensure that Queen's Commerce Program is the right fit for you.
My interest with economics began with my curiosity about the recession. It was fascinating how ostensibly infallible corporations could fail, and how various factors would have such profound effects on other seemingly unrelated areas of our economy. After additional research by speaking to my uncle, who works as a regional VP for JP Morgan in Japan, and consulting with business associates of my father, my interest in business intensified into my passion and career path. Studying commerce at Queen's University will enable to further pursue this goal, and my liberal education will establish a strong foundation for success at an extensive range of industries. The Queen's business program especially appeals to me for many reasons, including the Arts and Science elective courses to broaden my scope, the community approach to learning in the renovated Goodes Hall, and ComSoc to apply what I learn outside the classroom. Also by specializing in finance, management, and especially international business, I plan to be fully prepared for today's global markets. My goal is to become an investment banker or economist, leading international firms in regions of interest to me such as Europe or Pacific Asia.
I have participated in many extracurricular to ensure that I am prepared for Queen's Commerce. I have attended the Rapport Leadership Camp, and I then applied the skills I learned to other aspects of my life. As the VP of IT for a Junior Achievement entrepreneurial venture, I helped lead our team to quadruple our investment in only two months after production. I have also developed fundraising and marketing campaigns, and given interviews for local media in my executive roles in the school newspaper and humanitarian club.
I believe that success is dependent on one's love and dedication to their goals, and this is why I'm confident that my passion regarding economics will enable me to thrive at Queen's Commerce.
Thanks for reading everyone!
(Sorry, I'm not really a professional! But here are some of my suggestions and comments.)
Your first essay is not bad. Maybe you could also include stuff about why Queens and what makes it special when there are lots of other universities wherein you could earn the same degree.
2nd essay:
It was fascinating how ostensibly infallible corporations could fail -- I've been taught to avoid highfaluting words. Check out this webpage: essay-lab.com/basic/simple_words.php
After additional research by speaking to my uncle -- I'd suggest to change this too, "After interviewing my uncle" instead. I don't think research is an appropriate word here.
Studying commerce at Queen's University will enable to further pursue this goal -- ...will enable ME to further...
I have attended the Rapport Leadership Camp, and I then applied the skills I learned to other aspects of my life. -- Better if you provide concrete examples that show how you applied the skills you learned.
