This is my motivation letter for an Erasmus Mundus Master's degree scholarship. Kindly, review my letter and give me some constructive criticism. Thanks!
I also have some questions:
1) should I mention my GPA (3.85/4) or ranking (5th on my batch) in the letter or is it enough to mention it in my CV ?
2) should I better clarify my future goals ?
Erasmus Mundus Master's degree scholarship APPLICATION
Dear EMECS selection committee,
First of all, let me introduce myself, my name is Omar Awad and I am a senior undergraduate student majoring in Electronics Engineering at The German University in Cairo, Egypt. I am writting this letter to express my deep interest in joining the EMECS master's program.
In my 1st year of B.Sc. studies, I started to develop special interest in embedded systems and digital electronics. I loved combining my hardware and software skills together to create some amazing applications. I am also fascinated about not only how digital electronics is the heart of today's technology, but also its increasing importance in the future with the introduction of fields, including, but not limited to, Internet of Things, Neuromorphic Computing and System-On-Chip. Therefore, soon in my first semester, I started to do personal projects in embedded systems and digital design on FPGAs, where I self-learned the needed concepts and tools for my projects, which have set me apart from my colleagues. Due to my interest in embedded systems and research, my focus was to do many research internships in the field of Embedded Systems each summer to enhance my experience and knowledge in this amazing broad field. In total, I took 5 research internships in the field of embedded systems and digital design. One of my internships was in Opto-Nano-Electronics lab at Cairo University, where my work is in preparation to be submitted as part of a jounal paper. Moreover, while being a student, I gained teaching experience by being a computer science junior teaching assistant for more than a year at my university. Furthermore, this year, I spent 7 months as an exchange student in Germany doing research in the field of Embedded Security, where I enhanced my skills in ASIC design, computer architecture, RTL design and Hardware Security. My bachelor thesis was integrated in this work and was graded by the Chair of Embedded Security at Ruhr-Universitat Bochum as A+ (100%). My research is now under review as a journal paper in TCHES 2018. I also took this opportunity to further enhance my German language skills, therefore I took a German language course offered by Ruhr-Universitat Bochum for international students.
Personally, I am very active socially and like to work in a team. I developed this important skill by being an active member in extracurricular activities at my university, where I used to organize and attend many meetings and events. I also participated in 3 competitions and 2 hackathons as a team leader or member. I further enhanced my communication skills during my stay in Germany by engaging in a lot of discussions with my colleagues in the host research group in technical and non-technical matters. Moreover, I have passion about travelling since I love to embrace new cultures and I was fortunate to visit more than 10 countries in Europe and Asia.
There are many reasons I was attracted to the EMECS program over any other master's program. First, the student mobility, so the fact that the student spends his study period in two different countries is amazing for me, because although research and technology is my life passion and it is something I genuinely love, I believe life is more than that. Life is also about learning new cultures, new languages and meeting new people from different backgrounds. It improves one's personality and let him think with multiple perespectives and different angles, which is something I really experienced in my 7-month stay in Germany. Moreover, I really liked the idea of EMECS-thon, which gives this program a competitive nature and sets it to be unique than the other master's programs. Furthermore, there are special tracks to specialize in Embedded Systems, so I get the opportunity to have a focus on my field of interest. Finally, in the field of embedded systems, TU Kaiserslautern is one of the best in Germany and University of Southampton leads the UK in embedded systems research, so I can get world-class education in this field.
For my future goals, I would like to persue a career as an R&D engineer in a giant semiconductor company in one of the program's hosting countries. I believe that EMECS program will provide me with the necessary in-depth knowledge and skills to be a successful future researcher. The program will also help me build my professional network accross the hosting countries, which will help me find the place that fits my interests. My goal is to push the boudaries of science and be one of the greatest engineers in this field. With the right opportunities and experience to cutting-edge projects and designs, I believe I can achieve this goal.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 10,529 3444
Omar, this is not really a motivational letter. This is more like a mix of a personal statement, statement of purpose, and resume. A motivational letter should focus on only one aspect of interest. That is, how your interest in this line developed and what potential contribution you wish to make in the field in order to improve it. That is the motivation you are required to represent here. This should only be a cover letter format of no more than 2 or 3 paragraphs. You should only introduce a summary of the extended discussions that will be presented in your SOP and PS essays, along with your other documents connected with your application. Simply mention the highlights of your application such as the reason for your interest in the field, a summary of your college thesis (if connected with this interest) and a quick description of why you chose the university. Then invite the reviewer to continue reviewing your other documents and essays in order to better consider your application. Don't turn this into an application essay because it isn't one.